Heartbeat
by dancedaze
Summary: Rewrite! Natsume Hyuuga lived his life as he pleased. Yes, he was popular and he was happy with his current state, until he met Mikan - the girl that lived in the shadows, unnoticed. She had changed him, unconsciously and consciously. The lives of two different people clash and become one. Witness the story of Natsume's life-changing story as their hearts beat as one.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gakuen Alice or the characters related to it. Inspiration for this Prologue came from one of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks. But the rest, I do own.

**Author's Notes:**

As you may have noticed, I removed all the chapters that used to exist because I had a new idea and a new inspiration for this story. I wanted to go in a different direction from where my previous story was headed. Major revamping was needed, sadly. I do apologize for those who chose this as their favorite story because they liked how the story was going. I will take no offense if you remove this story from your lists because of the sudden changes. But I do hope that you will still continue to read and take this new version into consideration.

And! I plan on writing shorter chapters compared to the last ones. Well, it depends really.

Thank you!

Hope you enjoy the prologue! Do leave reviews and comments for me. They are always and forever appreciated and welcomed.

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><em><strong>Prologue<strong>_

_I grew up with the grandiosity that life bestowed upon me and I couldn't have asked for more. But I was wrong. I was eighteen then—twelve and a half years ago—when my life changed forever._

_Constant bombarding of questions and wondering from relatives and old friends always came my way, but I would always gesture them with a nod or a smile. It was not that I refused to answer or their questions stirred haunted memories. It was because I could not give an answer that would be enough for someone who passed by and just wanted answers. Someone would have to go through the pain and agony of entering my empty, and yet filled, apartment and sit down and meet my crimson eyes that were surrounded by, what teenagers would call these days, crow feet – also known as those damned, wrinkly lines that shoot out from the corner of my eyes because of work-related stress._

_Three words were not enough. A sentence would not be enough. A paragraph would not be enough to explain my story. _

_Old friends and relatives of mine dared not to question or share my story for they, too, have witnessed it and lived it with me. It was I, however, who lived every moment of it. It was I who smiled, then cried._

_Pardon me, but I would always take the road that leads to memory lane every now and then. So do bear with me._

_I stare out from the porch of my house and into the garden that continued to grow all these years. The sky was filled with gray clouds and rain would fall any moment now. A young couple passes by, who doesn't seem to value their time together, and instead spends it by tinkering with their so-called Blackberries. I walk down the stairs and gather Magnolias that freshly bloomed two days ago. I, then, walk out of the house and into the street that leads me to the love of my life._

_As I take this road, I close my eyes and I hear the clock stop. The second hand, minute hand, and hour hand slowly reverse and speed up by the minute. My almost gray (well, not really) hair turns back to the dark, raven hair that girls used to rave about. The dull, red eyes I have brightened and my famous crimson eyes shone. As I return to the old days, so does my surroundings. The busy city grows… well, less busy. Greener surroundings fill my eyes and I see Alice Academy – that red-bricked school that I once thought was a nightmare._

_I am Natsume Hyuuga. Should I still say more? I grew up with the grandiosity that life bestowed upon me and I couldn't have asked for more. But I was wrong. I was eighteen then—twelve and a half years ago—when my life changed forever._

_There will be times when you will smile, there may be times that you will cry. _

_Hey, don't say I didn't warn you._


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of the characters related to it.

**Author's Notes:**

So, here's the new chapter 1! I hope you guys enjoy it. For those of my previous followers, as you have noticed, this is completely different from the first version. But I still hope you read it and like it!

Please do review for me! It would greatly help, if you do. :)

Spread the love! 3

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

It was your average, ordinary day – March 26, 2000. Red-bricked walls and tall black gates hovered over my five-seated, red sports car. I waited for the guard to open the horizontal and vertical bars that stood between the school I dreaded so much and I. I stared at the golden star that shone high and mighty at the highest point of the gate. The name of the academy was proudly engraved on that star with silver lining – Alice Academy.

Alice Academy was one of, if not, the most respected academies in Japan. Every parent died trying to get their children enrolled in this damned academy and only five percent of every generation gets in. While every child or teenager dreamed of this as their school, I dreamt of escaping this place. Teachers were strict and students were, somehow, slaves of the academy. The students were labored to finish, and I quote, "excellently" in order for the academy to have a good reputation in Japan and in the entire world. There was no denying that the academy has reached such status, but it has turned students either into workaholics or bitter and passive.

I eventually became a product of this ridiculous institution. Don't be surprised. I was stuck here since I was preschool and there was not much that I can do. I didn't want to attend Alice Academy. Alice Academy wanted me (humility aside). I was born smart, intellect and street wise. I was a practical and logical kid, and still am. But due to pressures and the demands of the said elite school, I became the latter product – bitter and passive.

But on my senior year, things became different. It was the first day of school when I first encountered her. I was aloof and had a bad demeanor that I was surprised on the turnout of events on that day.

I rested my chin on my right arm as I annoyingly waited for the guard as he took his sweet time in letting me in.

Thirty seconds.

Twenty seconds.

Ten seconds.

The gates finally open and I step on my car's gas pedal. The car sped up on the gray pavements with giant, oak trees that outlined its sides. It took me about three lefts and two rights to get to my destination. Or was it two lefts and three rights? Or was it—never mind. My arms obtained its muscle memory by leading the steering wheel to where it should be without the need for my mind's complete concentration on the road. I slowly pressed on the breaks as I finally approached Alice Academy's high school department.

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><p>It was seven-thirty in the morning. Normally, I wouldn't be here this early because I hated having to wake up to the bright and morning sun. But I was thankful—I am thankful—that I decided to get out of bed extremely early on that day.<p>

As I step out of my car, two freshmen students were ready to either clean my car or drive it to my parking space. I didn't care and I didn't want a couple of students doing my duties or following me around, but it just happened. I tossed my keys to one of the freshmen and they bowed their head as they started my car and drove away. As I walked towards the department's entrance, I found my best friend standing on the entrance's side.

"Why do you still have the rabbit, Ruka?" Ruka was blonde-haired and blue-eyed. He already looked gay in some people's eyes, and with that annoying, fluffly, white thing, he looked gay-er.

He clicked his tongue and glared at me. "Don't be mean to him, Natsume. You know how much I care about it."

"Yeah, yeah." Personally, I didn't care about how Ruka looked. I was grateful for him and how he stuck with me, even though I was such an ass, all these years. But I was not to admit that I appreciated him and his efforts, or for anyone at that matter. I would rather die than to say all that touch-y, feel-y crap.

As we entered the department, squeals and screeches could be heard from the whole place – girls. When I was in grade school, I was quite amused at all the attention I received. The problem is, I've gotten so accustomed to it that I don't know how to react to it anymore. Walking along the hallways, Ruka and a couple of my other friends trailed behind me as if we were a gang (or as if they were my gang). We were labeled as the "popular crowd", which I didn't particularly care about.

As my friends continued to converse, I stopped my tracks as a short-haired girl blocked my way. I was used to this but I never gave in to their expectations. She had a box in her hand—a cake, I presumed—and I think she has the idea that gifts or batting of eyelashes would convince me to reciprocate her feelings.

"I'm Wakako, but I'm sure you already knew that." I noticed the effort and hard work that she put in her make-up. It was probably more effort than the effort she put in the contents of the box she was holding.

The rest of the student body were whispering and giggling at the sight. I guessed she's been planning to do this and the high school population knew or they're laughing at her actions because they also knew what happens after this. It never changed. I always ended up rejecting the confessions I received. I knew it's horrible. But I wouldn't pretend to like someone I don't. That would be worse.

"Yeah. I know who you are. Look, sugar. If that's cake, no thanks. I don't like sweets. If that's not cake, anyway, I wouldn't accept it either." I dared not to flinch. I simply walked away and Ruka and the rest followed. I honestly hated the idea of having to do that, but I just don't like her or any girl for that matter. It was useless to say "no" and try to make her feel better. That's not going to work. It'll give the girl more hope, right?

"I told you it's useless." I overheard from one of my friends. That was definitely Sumire. She chased after me from grade school until middle school. I repeatedly told her that I really wasn't interested. But because we've known each other a long time, we got passed all the weird confessions and rejections and she just started to hang out with us.

As I continued to walk down the hall, I entered my classroom and the rest of my friends had dispersed to their other sections. I sat at the last row, where I've always sat since elementary, and I couldn't help but notice the few students but accompanied with the ridiculous noise.

"Hotaru! Give it back!"

"Nuh-uh. You owe me 50 rabbits."

"But I need that for today! What kind of a best friend are you?"

My cousin seemed to be collecting debts from her friends again. How was I supposed to get the rest that I wanted with all the noise and crap I heard?

"Hotaru! I said give it back!" And the noise went on and on and on.

I was already in the boundaries of annoyance and anger. That was really not my day—or so I thought. "Imai, tell your friend to shut up. Some people are trying to get some sleep here."

"I'm sorry your Majesty," the sarcasm in Hotaru's voice was so evident. She didn't even bother to hide it, "maybe if you ask your minions to stop her from chasing me then maybe she would shut up."

Tch. Minions – that's what she labelled my friends, obviously. Nobody could control my cousin. She was beyond anybody's reach – Vice President Imai of Alice Academy's student council. But there would be times that her actions did not reflect the position and power she held. And the worst part was, she got away with it.

I simply groaned and let them be. What was I supposed to? Get up and stop her? Who was this annoying girl, anyway? I didn't know her. I didn't think I would even care. I didn't know that the moment that will soon come to pass would be the cause of the changes in my life.

"New girl! Shut the hell up! You're disturbing the rest of us, especially Natsume." Sumire cracked. I knew she would be the first one to. She squinted her emerald eyes and flipped her green hair.

And the noise did stop. Sumire was the class representative and everybody in class followed her. And of course, that includes the new girl.

New girl, huh?

I opened my eyes and stood up. Of course that sent signals and whispers around my classmates, which stopped the new girl's tracks. I walked towards the said new girl who stood in the middle of the classroom. I pushed my hands in my pockets and stopped behind her.

"If you're trying to make a good impression on your first week, you're not doing a very good job of it," and I peered in closer to whisper in her ear, "Polka-dots."

She definitely flinched and turned around to face me. Her hair swayed and I swear I could smell tangerines and strawberries as her hair grazed across my face. Her chocolate-brown eyes glared at me through her black frames, and she looked incredibly mad. Honestly, I do enjoy making any girl mad. And the girl in front of me, made it especially fun to do so.

"Look here, you pervert, it's Mikan. Learn the name if you're going to address someone. Clearly, you've got no manners." She wasn't screaming this time. She was stern and serious. But she was cute, I will admit.

I tried my best not to show any interest, which I successfully managed, "Do you know who you're talking to, little girl?"

"Yeah, I know who you are. You're _the_ Natsume Hyuuga, right? Most popular boy in school who's the heir to the Hyuuga enterprise. Yeah, I know you. Your cousin warned me about you from day one. And guess what? I don't care. I don't like you at all." My eyes showed no reaction, just as stoic as always. But deep down, I was shocked. I watched her as she walked to her seat and sat down to wait for our adviser.

"That must hurt, dear cousin." Hotaru walked by and sat down on the seat beside the area I stood.

I scoffed and pretended that it didn't affect me, "You really think so, dear cousin?" I made my way back to my seat and I didn't care, that was true. But I was affected in some way. The whole class saw our little endeavor but we were too stern and serious for anyone else to hear our conversation.

I sat and shut my eyes. It was easier to hide any emotion when your eyes are closed.

"You okay, Natsume?" Ruka was trying to read me again. To be honest, he was good at it.

"Hn," was all I could say.

_Mikan, huh?_ I thought as the smell of tangerines and strawberries continued to tickle my nose. I really had no clue how that little girl would make a big impact in my life and that she actually would.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Alice Academy or the characters related to it. But the rest, I do.

**Author's Notes:**

Here's the new chapter two! You guys may think that Mikan's a bit out of character, but I wanted to deviate a bit from the Mikan that was portrayed in the Anime/Manga because she was grade school, then. The setting's high school and I think this is the Mikan that would be in high school, but of course you will see some similarities from the Mikan we know as the chapter progresses! Just a bit of a disclaimer. Haha!

Hope you guys enjoy the story!

Thank you for the new reviews and new followers!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

The smell of cherry blossoms always intoxicated me. It had this sweet aroma that tickled my nose that relaxed my senses. This was my drug.

When I first found the Cherry Blossom tree in campus, I was still in grade school back then. I cut class by myself that day and I ran away from the teachers that tried to chase me. I had scratches from the bushes and leaves stuck out of my hair. I stumbled upon that tree when I was looking for a place to relax and sleep. Its beauty put me in a daze, in a daze like no other. I found myself gawking at a tree. How stupid, right? But I was amazed at how my eyes could see something beautiful in the midst of all the horrible events that these similar eyes have witnessed.

This tree was my serenity. This tree was my solitude. This tree was my comfort.

I borrowed a book from the library days ago and requirements have prevented me from reading anything. Thank God there were two consecutive free periods that gave me a chance to jumpstart my reading again. My hands slid down on the book cover and my eyes trailed on the letters that read "Lost in the Funhouse". As I was about to open it, I spotted a brunette walking towards me. When she realized that I was already looking at her, she froze and turned around. She was fidgeting and she seemed annoyed. Her small frame tightened as she took a sharp intake of breath. She turned around again and walked towards me. These were the looks that girls had in our school when they were about to confess, and it was about time she did. Or so I thought.

She bent her knees and hugged them as she stared at me. She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose and inhaled once again. "I really hate doing this but…"

I raised my eyebrow, curious as to how she was going to go about with this confession. Well, it didn't matter because I was prepared – prepared to say the usual, "No, my feelings are not the same" statement. But I was definitely caught off guard with her real intentions.

"I know we're not exactly friends but I need a favor and that's lending me that book." Her eyes squinted while waiting for my answer.

She wanted the damned book. If she knew what I thought she was about to do, I would bury myself alive. But of course she didn't. She was too dense of a girl and I was too good of an actor. "And why would I do that?" I asked her uncaringly.

"I've been looking for that book all week and the librarian remembered that you were the one that borrowed it. So can I please borrow it? I need it." She refused to show any signs of submission towards the person she was asking a favor from. Instead, she pouted. She was trying to get the book by using ridiculous facial expressions.

I peered in closer and I whispered to her ear, "You know, pouting won't get you the book, Panda Bear."

"Panda Bear? Oh, you did not! You're such a pervert." She flinched away as I smirked and opened the book to read on.

Normally she would stomp away and leave me alone, but she did not this time. She intently glared at me, hating me for seeing her underwear and waiting for me to give in. But I was apathetic.

"Please don't make me beg. I need it for my job, okay? Will that open your heart to lending me that book for a day?" She was on her knees, legs spread to the side. Her hands were on the middle of her legs and a little more push, she would be begging.

"What kind of job?" I closed the book and I was interested to hear.

"It's none of your business!" She looked away and squinted her eyes in frustration.

"Oh, I think it is." I waved the book to remind her that I had something she wanted.

She looked at me and stuck her tongue out. I had to admit that was quite adorable. I peered in closer and when she realized the nearness of our faces, she flinched. Her glasses fell off and she backed away.

"What are you doing? You are such a pervert. I'm not even kidding! No wonder Hotaru's…" Her voice drowned my thoughts as her eyes distracted me.

I noticed the darkness of her brown eyes. Her glasses made her eyes seem like they were lighter, but, in fact, she had gorgeous dark brown eyes. They were like hardened swirling chocolate syrup. I found myself staring, gawking in fact. It was more than beautiful, it was alluring. Of course I would dare not to admit that, not even to myself.

"Are you listening to me? Earth to, Hyuuga?" Her hands waved in front of me, trying to bring me back from my daze.

"What?" I pretended to be annoyed and hid my embarrassment.

"You spaced-out. Can I borrow the book now, please?" Her eyes showed speculation and wonder.

Before I gawked again, I caught myself and picked up her glasses. "Here, before you hit a wall with your bad eyesight."

"What? I don't have bad—right! Thanks." She swiftly took her glasses and wore it. "The book, please?"

I gave up. I felt that if I didn't give her the book now, she would pester me the rest of the day. "Give it back to me by sundown, okay?"

"Thank you, thank you!" She grabbed the book, bowed her head, and dashed off.

So what was I going to do during the free period? I dialed Ruka's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey, Ruka. Where are you? Let's go to Central Town."

_"Oh, sure. Sumire and the others are going there to. We're at the entrance of the high school department. Meet us here? Wait. I thought you were reading? What happened to that?"_

"Something came up. I'll be there in ten."

_"Okay. If you say so."_

I put the phone down and I sighed. I couldn't believe I sacrificed my reading time for some girl. If I had told Ruka, he would've made speculations, which was something I really wouldn't appreciate.

Central Town was my only option left.

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><p>I walked down the halls that led to the library. Classes were over and I figured that maybe I should borrow another book in case that little girl didn't return me the book. I scanned my ID and the glass door opened. As I scanned the shelves in the fiction section, I saw the little girl on the far end of the library. Doing her work, I guessed? I left the shelves and walked towards her. She was tinkering with her MacBook and I quietly approached her. I hovered over and tried to read what she was writing. The same mix of tangerines and strawberries emitted from her hair and her small pale fingers quickly typed on the keyboard. As my eyes trailed on what she was writing, I discovered that she was writing a review on "Lost in the Funhouse".<p>

"So you write reviews for what publishing company?"

She jumped in her seat as she closed her MacBook in shock. "Hyuuga, what are you doing? You scared the hell out of me. Don't ever, and I mean ever, do that again!"

"We're in the library, little girl." I reminded her of library policy of _No talking loudly inside the library_.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't sneak up on someone in the library knowing that they may scream out of fright." She was definitely picking up Hotaru's sarcasm. "And it's not a publishing company, smarty-pants. It's an online company that needs reviewers for books, okay? So scram! I need to continue with my work."

This girl was really fun to pester so I pull a chair and sit down beside her. "Well, you were so sweet awhile ago and now you have a horrible temper. You know that it's bad to wear glasses while using your laptop. Your eyesight will get worse."

"Gosh. Mind your own business, Hyuuga. And it's fine."

She continued to type and I grabbed the book. I read the first few pages while she remained focus and unmoved. This was a really good book. I wondered what kind of review she was making. "Are you bashing the book, Sakura?" I teased her.

She suddenly looked at me. Her eyes were filled with surprise. "You actually called me by my name. Well, not my name, name, but you get me. And I'm not bashing the book! I actually like this book."

"Hn." I continued reading and in the peripherals of my vision I had realized something strange, something I should've noticed since this morning, and something I should've known earlier than today. "Why are you wearing glasses when your eyesight is normal?"

She froze. Her fingers stopped typing and her eyes swiftly looked at me. "W-w-what are you talking about?"

I was about to discover something that day. And let me tell you, that day was the mark that changed my life forever. I did warn you, right? I warned you that there will be times that you might laugh, but I also said that there will be times when you might cry. What happened that day led me to things that I never thought I wanted for myself, things that I thought would never happen.

Your tear-jerking moments may begin now, because I, too, thought that I would never cry.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I hope that you guys liked this chapter as well! Please leave a review for me, as always! :)

More chapters to come. I was glad that I even had this bit of free time to make and upload this chapter. School is full of stress.

'Til the next chapter!

**~dancedaze**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill. I don't own Alice Academy. Sometimes I wish I did.

**Author's Notes:**

This is the longest chapter, so far! I hope you guys like it! I probably won't be able to upload anytime soon as this is officially hell month. But as the semester ends, it means semestral break! By then, I'll be updating like there's no tomorrow left.

By the way, thank you for those who followed and reviewed!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Red lights and alarm sounds filled the air as the ambulance zigzagged along the streets of Tokyo. I followed the glaring streams of red light that escaped from the long and white vehicle that clearly screamed _out of my way_. And no, I was not following it because I wanted to escape traffic—but that would definitely be a plus. The little girl was in that ambulance. Her fragile body laid there as the ambulance quickly dodged every car, bus, and truck that came its way. I feared for my life, yes, but Hotaru would not let me stop the car or let the ambulance disappear from our sight.

"What the hell happened, Hyuuga?" She clenched her pale hands. She was infuriated, of course. It was her best friend that sprawled on the floor minutes ago and that is now in that ambulance and I'm guessing, having air induced in her.

I honestly couldn't answer her. Everything that happened was jumbled in my memories. I was confused as to where I should begin. To top all of that, I was frightened – from the moment she started breathing heavily until I drove the car to Tokyo Hospital. How was I supposed to react to all of this? It seemed that Hotaru had a clue, well, it was more of she already knew. If things don't turn out well, I couldn't help but feel responsible. I knew that I could be an ass, but I'm not much of it. I was definitely panicking. While you're driving, that's not good. But I couldn't calm down. All the paranoid thoughts flocked in my head. I could visualize every possibility that could happen after that second, that minute, that hour, and that day – and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.

Two to three minutes later, we arrived at a white five-storey building where more ambulances blared and glared to gain access to the emergency room. A guard tapped the window of my car and pointed the parking space of the hospital. I steered the wheel and left the line of the ambulances. I slowly drove to the parking lot and Hotaru and I watched as Mikan's bed was taken out of the ambulance. Her breathing was supported by an oxygen apparatus and her body simply laid on the bed with no movement at all – not a flick of a finger nor a shiver of the body. Nothing.

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><p>I leaned on the glass windows that overlook the entire city. Every fiber of the front side of the hospital was made out of glass. I watched as cars created streams of light from their headlights and as more people busily ran and walked from work to home. The tallest skyscraper in Japan was just in my view and it was amazing, really. But inside here was a girl whom I didn't even know if I cared about was on the brink of losing her life. I was so oblivious and so confused, my mind could not properly process anything.<p>

When I thought about it, she was one of the students ignored in Alice Academy. She was, no offense, the opposite of the reputation I had. She belonged to the lower sections and I remembered how she would blatantly barge inside our classroom just to see Hotaru. But she was ignored and forgotten. Somehow, she made it to our section this time around. I realized how could've I possibly not known who she was. I remembered, her locker was beside mine in middle school and I accidentally bumped into her and her lollipop fell back in grade school. It was definitely weird that I didn't notice her. Or maybe, I was stuck in my world of popularity and fame that I couldn't notice other things, other people that were in school.

Two doors flung open and my raven-haired cousin came out of the operation room. She was wearing the doctor's uniform of the hospital. She approached me and took off the mask that covered her lips. "Care to tell me now what happened?"

I didn't flinch. I kept eye contact with her and I refused to answer her. Truth be told, I feared that I would cry out of embarrassment or frustration because of what I had done and there was no way I would let anyone see that, especially if that someone was _the_ Hotaru Imai.

I looked out the window and watched the pit-pattering rain as it slid down the glass window. "Is this one of the perks of contributing your inventions to Tokyo Hospital?"

"Actually, yes. But don't change the subject. I need answers, Hyuuga."

One of the traits that we both shared was stubbornness. I refused to speak while she pestered on about getting answers from me. We got it from our mothers – what can we do?

She sighed and leaned on the glass window beside me. "Look Nat," whenever she addressed me by my name, it meant that this was something serious, but at the same time, she had no intentions of fighting with me, "this is the fifth time this year that she was brought to the hospital. I need to know what happened because we're trying to find a way to cure her."

"Fifth? 'We'? You're a doctor now?" She was being direct with me, and that was something very unusual. The more she explained things to me, the more I became interested with Mikan, and the more I was tempted to tell her what exactly happened.

"She was born with an illness of the heart. She couldn't keep up with lectures back then. That was the reason why she wasn't in the same section as we were. She wasn't an idiot, she was just always sick, always in the hospital. She got better when high school started, but somehow her trips to the hospital are becoming frequent again. I've been working on a project—on a device—that would help her condition. That's all I'm saying. The rest you should hear from her. Now spill."

Her amethyst eyes were definitely bleaker and darker than they normally were. She was determined. She wanted to find the cure for her best friend sooner and faster. The hurriedness that she displayed made me quite nervous but I gave in and told her what happened.

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><p><em>She froze. Her fingers stopped typing and her eyes swiftly looked at me. "W-w-what are you talking about?"<em>

_I watched her as her fingers fidgeted and as she toyed with her hair. As she realized that I was still staring at her, particularly at her eyes, she blushed and typed again. _

"_Is it a trend? Wearing glasses to look cool or smart?" I smirked at her immediate reaction._

_She jerked up and glared at me. "For your information, smarty-pants, Hotaru gave me these glasses for a reason. And I believe that reason is none of your damn business."_

"_So I am right that your eyeglasses aren't for bad eyesight?"_

"_Oh shut it, Hyuuga. I'm not going to tell you anything. It's not as if it would benefit you."_

"_It will, actually."_

_She was definitely caught off guard with my immediate reply. "How may I ask?"_

"_Well, I'm trying to get to know you." I wasn't completely lying. I was curious about her. _

_But the way I said it flustered her. Her face flushed even more and it was hilarious. I was waiting to hear what she would say to that. "W-w-what are you saying, you idiot?"_

"_It will benefit me because I want to know you." Clearly, I was teasing her and that I was enjoying every second of it._

"_I heard you the first time! Gosh, no need to repeat it." She grabbed the book and flipped the pages until she reached a certain page and refused to answer my question._

_I cleared my throat as a sign that I wasn't giving up on the question. "And you know why I'm so interested?"_

_She cocked her eyebrows as a signal to further explain my and answer my own question._

"_Well, the real color of your eyes is…" I almost gave myself away for a moment there, "Interesting."_

"_Uh-huh. You're really weird, Hyuuga."_

"_And I suppose you think you're not?"_

"_Gosh, Hyuuga. I wonder why girls even like you. There's clearly nothing to like."_

"_Oh really? There's nothing to like?" I peered in closer as an attempt to tease her more._

_She squinted her eyes and backed up as I attempted to draw closer. "No, actually. You don't have the looks, the brains, or the… Anything! Gosh. Just leave me alone!"_

"_You know, the way you're being defensive shows that you actually like me."_

"_Does not!" She did not show any sign of hesitation as her face neared mine._

"_Yeah, right."_

"_Quit it!"_

"_Okay. If you say so…"_

"_You're infuriating!" Her face turned red and her eyes grew wider by the argument._

"_No, I'm gorgeous."_

"_Egotistical, actually!" And as she realized our faces were too close, she backed up and her face flushed the reddest red I have ever witnessed—probably redder than my own eyes. _

_I chuckled as I found her maddened face adorable and cute. Of course, this belonged to the list of things I would never admit. But before I could say anything, she started to breathe heavily. She held on to the edges of the table as she tried to gasp for air. This startled me and I backed up so that she had more room to breathe._

"_Please… Call… Hotaru…" She said in the midst of heavy breathing. _

_And so, I did. I fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed Hotaru's number and waited for her to answer. _

"What do you want, Hyuuga?"

"_Something's wrong with your best friend, Imai."_

"What is it?"

"_She's—" _

_Right there and then, Mikan fell to the ground. Clutching to her chest and breathing for more air. I began to panic._

"_Oh freak!"_

"What was that? Hyuuga? Hyuuga? Nat?"

"_I have to call the ambulance. The little girl fell to the floor."_

"Oh no."

* * *

><p>"So that's what happened." My eyes remained fixated out the glass window as I retold my cousin what happened. Her eyes were as stoic and cold as ever. She tinkered with her phone as if typing down what I just told her.<p>

"She probably panicked, that's all. Anyway, I'm staying over for the night. It is Saturday tomorrow, so you should stay too. Aunt Kaoru's home anyway, so no need to worry about Youichi. I texted her that we're staying over here." She walked away took her doctor costume off.

"Wait, what? Wouldn't mom find it strange that we're staying at a hospital?"

"You idiot. Of course she knows. Mikan is Aunt Yuka's daughter. Your mom's best friend?"

I was stunned. How could've I not notice that. Mikan Sakura—Yuka Sakura. Geez, Natsume. "Wait. Where the hell are you going?"

She raised her eyebrow at me and gave me that _duh_ expression of hers. "To her room, where else?"

I heaved a sigh and followed her to Mikan's hospital room. We trailed down white walls, white curtains, white chairs – everything was white. After ten minutes of walking, we reached room 402 and beside it was Mikan's name. Hotaru opened the door and there was Mikan, lying down on the bed with an apparatus attached to her small face. She was asleep and it seems like she was breathing normally – thanks to the oxygen tank.

"She'll wake up tomorrow morning. Stay with her while I talk to Dr. Reed." Hotaru let me enter the room and closed the door and left.

I pulled a chair sat beside the bed. Her skin was pale and her eyelashes twitched every time she breathed. She would move from time to time but would return to her immovable state. Normally, I wouldn't bother to stay and watch over a girl but I did feel responsible. But more than that, I stayed because I was drawn to her. Unconsciously, she has pulled me towards her and I felt as if she wasn't going to let go.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I hope that you liked this chapter too! I hope that you leave reviews for me too! It helps me a whole lot. Any suggestions and criticisms are very welcome, so don't hesitate!

Thank you, guys!

**~dancedaze**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Gakuen Alice does not belong to me. Sometimes I wish I did.

**Author's Notes:**

I'm glad I was able to upload a new chapter for all of you to read. I had spare time so I decided to write a new one.

Hope you guys enjoy this! Don't forget to leave me a review, recommendation, suggestion, or whatever it is.

By the way, you can PM me for any beta reading! :)

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

While I watched over the helpless little girl, I fell asleep on the chair with arms on the side of her bed. It was quite a while that I didn't realize how fast time went by. I wasn't aware how tired I felt that night. I didn't do much physical activity – no soccer training that day, thank God. School work didn't stress me out either, so I really wondered why there was this overwhelming feeling of exhaustion. Somewhere along the moments of waking up after that slumber, I found out that the anxiety, shock, and other unexplainable feelings just piled up in my system. My body could not handle that much emotional stress—because I wasn't supposed to be emotional in the first place. But mainly, I came to a conclusion that it was really fear that struck me deep. I feared for the girl that endured the pain and that I was somehow responsible for that incident.

I felt that I was being shaken, and then tapped. I grunted in frustration when I figured that someone was waking me up. As I opened my eyes, my vision became quite hazy. Browns and auburns and streaks of white were the only colors that my eyes could make out. I rubbed my eyes and as my vision started to clear up, I see her. The little girl was awake. Mikan was finally awake. She was better—I think. And then I freaked out and realized that I had slept through the night. It was already morning – eight-thirty in the morning.

"You should just stay asleep," she commented on my demeanor, "you're much more peaceful that way. No ruckus, no fights to stir up. You know what I'm saying?"

I cocked my eyebrow at her and smirked at the statement. I honestly found that statement quite disbelieving. "So let me ask you then, why did you wake up if you think that I should just say asleep?"

She stuck her tongue out and opened a book that I assumed she was reading while I was asleep. _Sense and Sensibility_ by Jane Austen – she was definitely a book worm. I was too lazy to comment, or rather, it was out of my character to show interest.

"Hn." I was good at pretending to be apathetic and to act like I didn't care.

"You borrow a lot of books at the library."

Now _that_ caught me completely off guard. "What?"

"I stay at the library most of the time, when I'm not in the hospital—here—at least. I see you take books and, honestly, there have been a dozen times when you took the book I needed for work." She didn't take her eyes off the book that she was reading. It made me a bit glad because, then, she couldn't see the shocked expression I had.

"So you were staring at me, huh?" I knew how she would react to that, but I secretly wished that she really was.

"No! Don't put me in the group of your fan girls! I'm not like them." She glared at me – half seriously, half jokingly.

I buried my head on my arms that lied on the side of her bed. I was still feeling tired, but more than that, I was trying to breathe and control the possibility of my embarrassment to appear in my face.

"Are you curious?" She inquired and I heard as she flipped her book to the next page.

"About?" My voice muffled as my head remained buried in my arms. But I was damn curious. I just didn't want to show it.

I heard as the cover of her books closed together and I could feel her looking at me. "About what happened? Aren't you wondering what on earth is wrong with me or something to that effect? I mean seriously. You're not _that_ stupid, are you?" It was annoying how she asked her questions that showed that she already knew the answer to that.

I glared at her without lifting my head away from my arms. I was ridiculously letting my pride get in the way of showing my enthusiasm, my desire to know. This was so surreal to me that I was unsure of how I was going to deal with all of this. All I could do was put effort in hiding it.

"Hotaru told you, right?" She was trying to get me to talk. But I wasn't just giving in.

"Hn."

She sighed. I thought she was going to give up on her attempts of making me speak. But I was surprised that she continued anyway. "I was born with this since birth. My mother was sickly when she was pregnant with me that it affected my health. It's an illness of the heart. It's called Cardiac Dysrythmias."

"Related to your heartbeat, I assume?"

"Yeah. My heartbeat becomes irregular from time to time. Before, it happened at the most random times, but as I grew up, external factors caused it."

"Stress?"

"It's not just stress. There's nervousness and other factors that affect it."

"Hn."

"What happened yesterday was not your fault, okay? Don't go sulking around about this. Well, it's not like you to sulk and brood."

I sat up straight as a gesture that would tell her that I was listening. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Well, you saw yesterday's escapade. It's not like I can hide it from you anymore, now can I?" I assumed from her statement that she was hiding her condition. She didn't want people to know maybe because she was afraid that people would make fun of her or she just didn't want them to pity her. And I assumed that I had to remain silent about this or she would strangle me to death or something to that effect.

"Hn. Cardiac Dysrythmias, huh?"

"Yeap. Ever since I was born." Her voice became soft. I glanced at her and I noticed her dark brown eyes staring off into space. She was thinking or remembering something about her past. I could only guess.

I watched her as her slender fingers intertwined each other and as her nose wrinkled. She twirled her hair and her lips formed a straight line. It was hard not to look at her at such a state. She was trying hard not to show me any void of emotion but her micro expressions gave her away. I knew she was hurting. She hated her condition. Who wouldn't, right? But having the_ I'm-cold-and-an-ass_ reputation, I couldn't bring myself to squeeze her hand or tuck strands of hair behind her ear or any action that would show that I wanted to comfort her.

As my eyes remained on her, she realized that I had been watching. She turned her head to face me and as our eyes met, my heart literally skipped a beat. I did not expect that at all. I mentally slapped myself for allowing that to even happen to me.

"What?" There was no hint of annoyance in her voice. She was curious and dense. I smirked and looked away. As she was about to protest and demand answers from me, the door flung open and there I found my senior, wearing a doctor's uniform with a bonnet.

Before I could say anything, the little girl jumped out of bed and hugged him. "Tsubasa! I'm so glad to see you!"

He wrapped his arms around her small frame and worry flashed across his face. "This is your fifth time this year. You're supposed to be getting better."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. But I'm happy now!" She smiled and the sight made my heart skipped – not one, not two, but more.

Although, my blood reached boiling point as I saw her hugging my senior. I had so many questions but I had to calm down and concentrate on my facial expressions. There was no way I would allow myself to show any hint of jealousy. I would rather die.

"Natsume," he called out and released the little girl from his arms, "what are you doing here? How's the team?"

"Hotaru asked me to watch over her. I was present from yesterday's _escapade_." She punched me when she realized that I was somehow mocking her. "The team's been okay. And I didn't know you knew enough science to be a doctor. I thought you could only kick a ball or something."

He laughed at my statement and raised his fist and waited for me to bump it. And so I did. He scratched his head and looked at Mikan who giggled. And my blood was beyond boiling point. "I thought I was going to be a soccer player too, Nat. I planned on waiting for you to graduate so we could tryout as a tag team, but my girlfriend changed my mind."

"Girlfriend?" I sounded almost enraged. Thoughts flew into my head and they were not processing properly anymore.

"Remember the pink-haired doll face I used to tease back when I studied at the academy?" He blushed. My senior just blushed a thousand roses and I wanted to laugh.

"The science geek in your batch?" Now, I was calm but ready to laugh.

"Yeah…" He scratched the back of his head and sat down beside Mikan. "It's been two years. She went to forensics school while I decided to do something better with my life. She inspired me, Nat. It's weird, I know. But I eventually went to medical school. And I'm glad because I met this little girl over here." He ruffled her hair and she slapped him for it. She stuck her tongue out while she fixed her hair.

"This is your practicum, I presume?"

"Yeah. It is."

I watched as the two of them continued to talk and laugh. It seemed that Tsubasa was Mikan's second best friend. It was a good friendship but I was still quite jealous. I couldn't understand what came over me. I was just going crazy. It was about a good fifteen minutes of trying to control and understand myself.

As I tried to ignore the two of them, the door swung open again and came in my cousin. "Let's go."

"Can I go home now?" Mikan's brown eyes widened as she thought that she could go home.

"No. You're never going home." Hotaru's stare bore through each one of us as her impatience grew. "Hurry up. Let's go already."

"What do you mean I'm never going home? And where exactly are we going?" Mikan hurriedly packed her things as she realized that Hotaru's impatience would lead to disaster.

I sat there and closed my eyes as I waited for the two to leave. I needed to go home soon and finish some school work. And I had to pick up Aoi from the airport in a couple of hours. I needed to rest. But the rest that I thought I was going to get did not happen. Hotaru's "orders" changed the course of my day, including the rest of my life.

"You're living with us, Mikan. From today until the day you get better."

"What?" Mikan and I said in unison. Clearly, both of us were in disbelief. I was shocked, terrified, and other emotions that I could not process. I was already having a difficult time in school and now she's supposed to live with us, with… me.

"You heard me. Let's go." Hotaru exited the room and dragged Mikan with her.

I stood there and listened to Mikan's protests from outside. Tsubasa followed the two of them and I was left inside the hospital room, wondering how I was going to deal with all of that. I sighed and left the room.

I couldn't protest because I knew my mother had something to do with this. She was Aunt Yuka's daughter, so what was I supposed to do?

I know it's been how many chapters and how many drabbles since I started telling you my story. But from here on out, you're going to see how I changed because of her. You're going to see the cheesy-sappy scenes that I will never forget. You're going to understand why and how I came to love that annoying, sickly, stupid girl. Prepare your tissues, my dear friends, as I officially start the story that we built together.


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gakuen Alice. But I wish I did.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

"Did you see anything? Did you? Because if you did, I swear you're never going to live after this minute!" Mikan raged on the incident minutes ago. I just sat on the dining table as I attempted to block off all the noise she made. "Natsume Hyuuga!"

"Look, I didn't see anything. You didn't lock the bathroom door, and that's not my fault." She was adorable at times, but damn she could be really infuriating.

Hotaru pounded the table before either the two of us retaliated. Her amethyst eyes grew bleaker and darker by the second. "You two better stop it before anything happens again. We just got home thirty minutes ago and you two are starting another fight. You're like a married couple in your twelfth year."

Mikan's eyes widened in disbelief. She hated the mental picture that came into her head of us as a married couple. "No way am I ever going to marry someone like him! He's a big ass pervert!"

"I didn't see anything nor did I have any intentions of doing so." She just wouldn't listen to me. She just continued to blow up like a thousand time bombs. But I still persistently annoyed her anyway. "And besides," I smirked as I knew the reaction that would come my way, "why would I peep at someone like you? You're not _that_ interesting to look at."

"You are so maddening! I'm not even—"

"Big sister?" Mikan abruptly stopped talking when she heard the soft and sleepy voice that came from the dining room door. My three-year old cousin came out of his room and rubbed his drowsy, green eyes. "What's going on?" His o's dragged into w's and the drowsiness in his voice showed how tired and sleepy he was.

"Now look what you two did." Hotaru picked up her little brother and stroked his hair. He clung onto Hotaru's neck and nuzzled as he tried to sleep again. "I'm bringing Youichi back to his room and try to help him go back to sleep. You _two_ better shut the hell up or I'm bringing out the gun."

Hotaru kicked the doors open and exited the dining room. My cousin was such a monster sometimes that it would even scare the living daylights out of me. I stood up and walked to leave the dining area when a hand gripped my wrist.

Brown eyes through framed glasses deathly stared at me. "We're not done yet."

"I already told you, Mikan. I didn't see anything."

I turned around to face her. Shock and unexpectancy registered in her eyes. "You…"

"What?"

"You called me… 'Mikan'." I felt the grip loosen up a bit and I noticed that her eyes softened.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and I mentally slapped myself for letting myself slip. I never called a girl by her first name, so that would've been my first time. She was always "little girl" or whatever the print of her underwear was to me. It was never "Mikan". But somehow my emotions were still a blur that I could not even control my words anymore. I hurriedly thought of a deviation to distract her, but I was somehow failing.

"That_ is _your name. You want me to call you 'Strawberries'?" I smirked and opened the dining room doors to exit.

Seconds after, frustrated grunts and moans followed me out the dining hall. "So you did see it, you liar!"

"I told you, I didn't."

"Well, how come you knew what print it was? If you're going to lie, do a better job of it next time!"

"It was a random print that popped up in my head. It doesn't mean I saw it."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Keep trying."

My exasperation grew, so I turned around to face her in order to explain to her. But she bumped me and she lost her balance. Out of instinct, I grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from falling. She slowly opened her eyes as she realized that she didn't hit the ground. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on her chest. She sighed with relief that she didn't have to experience any bruises or pains. She opened her eyes, and I could not avert my own from hers. There I was, again, mesmerized by her honey golden-brown eyes.

I didn't know how long, and she didn't either. But our gazes remained fixated. Our eyes were unmoved. By now, she would've slapped my hands and looked away but she didn't. Shock registered in her eyes as I held her right there and then. I was unsure if it was because I caught her or because I stared at her. Either way, I was sure that it was something about me that shook her.

I realized that in the midst of our "staring contest", I was processing my feelings. I questioned myself if I liked her and why was I being that way—whatever that way was. I was honestly confused then, and my heart raced in that moment. It was stupid. I was being a girl and it did not feel right at all. But the funny thing was I didn't bother to let go.

I was already agonized about that moment but what made it worse was when I reached for her glasses. The beats of my heart multiplied exponentially, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I slipped it off of her eyes and she held my hand midway.

"What are you doing?" No anger, no frustration in her voice. She just wanted to know. She too was processing something, whether it was feelings or just thoughts – I didn't know then.

"Whatever the reason is for you to hide your eyes, you don't have to." I removed her glasses completely and saw the chocolate darkness that formed her eyes.

"I wasn't hiding it. I was just… you know."

I cocked my eyebrows and waited for the explanation that I was about to hear.

She sighed as she let go of my hand, which I wished she hadn't. "When people look at me straight in the eyes, I get nervous and my heart fluctuates inconsistently, okay? It lessens my trips to the hospital. That's what the glasses are for. The color of my eyes lightens a bit because of the material that Hotaru used to make them."

"So it's psychological?"

"You could say that."

"Are you nervous now?"

"What?"

"I said, are you nervous now?"

She was stunned. Her eyes remained soft and gentle and it tortured me. It was as if she was piercing my soul, my every being, with the gentleness and the kindness that her eyes gave off. It was if she was trying to read my mind, trying to find out what my motivations and intentions were. I was definitely going mental.

"No. I'm not." A small smile formed her lips. It was too angelic. Too angelic, that I don't know how on earth could I have possibly controlled myself at that moment. Why was she smiling? I didn't know. But the image purposively engraved itself in my mind, and I could never forget it.

She reached for my hand that held her glasses. Initially, I thought she was going to grab her glasses and walk away but, man, I was wrong. She squeezed my hand and I didn't budge. We stood there, as if we had nothing better to do. It was as if time was not running and we could just stay like that forever. I passed her glasses back but she didn't let go of my hand.

The events that kept on happening were pushing me to the edge of sanity. I wasn't sure of what was happening or why was that happening. I knew she hated my guts because I constantly pestered her and I somehow always seemed to see the print of her underwear, but there was a shift all of a sudden. Was it because I stayed with her in the hospital? Or was it because she was trying to be kind so that I wouldn't spread her illness? Or was it because she lived in my house and that there was an obligation for her to treat me kindly? But then again, we were fighting minutes ago and that didn't seem to coincide with my hypotheses.

I sighed and slipped my hand off of hers. I let go of her shoulder and slid my hands back in the pockets of my jeans. I turned around and inhaled sharply before walking away. As my legs started to move, she grabbed my arm but suddenly let go of it.

"What?" I was trying to keep calm and composed. I took the risk of losing control and turned around to face her. There was too much turmoil and confusion inside me already and I honestly didn't need any more of it. I wanted to leave and just rest in my room but what she had to say might have been important, so I bore with the torture and agony. "I have to go in a while. What is it?"

"I'm not sure…" She intertwined her fingers and she bit her pink-glossed lips.

I tried my best to act my normal self, so I smirked and covered my true emotions by playing the arrogant card. "What? Don't tell me you're so mesmerized and that you're so in love with me?" I did, initially, mean it as a joke. But things were not falling into place as I thought they would.

Her eyelashes fluttered and she looked at me straight in the eye. "I'm not supposed to. But I don't know."

I swear I felt like my legs turned to jelly as those words came out of her mouth. It wasn't really a confession. It was an innocent claim of an innocent girl who didn't know what she felt. She, too, didn't know what was happening to her. She, too, didn't understand what she felt.

"I…" I turned around to avoid her gaze, "have to pick up Aoi from the airport."

It was an implied invitation, which I hoped she understood. I looked over my shoulder and waited for an answer. She rocked herself back and forth with her heels and toes. She looked at the ground and fidgeted with her thumbs. Her eyes squinted as she, probably, thought of the pros and cons of coming with me.

I turned my eyes to the front door and grabbed my leather jacket. I assumed that she didn't understand or she didn't want to. As I opened the front door, I heard thumping feet approaching my direction.

"Can I come with you?" She stood beside me and grabbed her cardigan.

I pretended not to be happy. "Do what you want." I contained all the smiles inside me and walked out the house. I fished my phone out of my pocket and scrolled down my contacts list.

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><p><strong>To: <strong>Hotaru

_Hey, Mikan wants to go with me to the airport. We'll be back in three hours, depending on the traffic._

I pressed my car keys and the headlights of my car flashed. We both entered my car and tried to relax ourselves before I started the engine. As I inserted the key in the ignition, my phone beeped.

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><p><strong>From: <strong>Hotaru

_Don't do anything stupid to my best friend or I'll kill you. Oh, bring me some crab fries while you're at it._

I rolled my eyes as my cousin doubted the safety of her best friend with me.

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><p>The gate automatically opened and I shifted my gears to reverse. I backed up the car and drove away. I could feel my heart as it was on the verge of explosion. Her words echoed in my head and I concluded that she probably had feelings for me and that she was confused about it too. The silence of that car ride was agonizing. But it was the longest and, yet, the most enjoyable car ride I've ever been in.<p>

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! This was just another of those drabbles that I wrote on the spot. I'm somehow finding extra free time to write and I'm really glad! Don't forget to leave reviews and suggestions for me! :)

Thank you to those who followed and chose this story as their favorite. :)

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Tra la la. You know the drill.

**Author's Notes:**

Oh wow! This is the longest chapter to date! I'm so happy! I'm excited as to how you guys are going to react to this. I hope it's in a good way. Haha! My fingers are crossed.

You know my requests! Reviews and comments please!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

"Imai? Imai? Open the door." I continued to knock on my cousin's wooden door. I've been standing there for a good five minutes and there was still no answer. "I'll give your damned crab fries to the dog next door if you don't open this door."

Of course, as I expected, the door swung open and air from inside her room swooshed out to my direction. "What the hell are you working on this time of the night?"

"None of your business." She tied her long, dark, raven hair and reached her hand out. "Now give me my fries before I hit you with the gun."

"Well, you're cranky. Did Ruka finally break up with you?" As much as I knew that wouldn't happen in the near future and that I would be threatened with physical injury and blackmail, I always took pleasure in teasing my cousin when it came to her relationship with my best friend.

Her amethyst eyes turned a darker shade of purple as she narrowed them out of annoyance. "Very funny, Hyuuga. You and I know that Ruka's too in love with me to break up with me." She grabbed the brown paper bag from my hands and opened it to check if it was really crab fries that were inside it. "How was your trip to the airport with Mikan? Did you have fun?" She had the annoying smug look on her face while she popped one of the fries in her mouth and chewed nonchalantly.

"Hn." The default answer I always gave whenever I was lazy or I wanted to hide the truth.

"Oh, I'm sure you _did_." Her smug grew annoyingly worse as if she had something plotted already.

I turned around and was ready to walk away. "Whatever."

"You don't have to tell me. I already know." I glared at her as her smug worsened by the minute.

"Oh, remind everyone not to disturb me, especially Mikan. And check on Youichi for me." She slammed the door shut and a strong whiff of air swooshed back in her room.

I sighed as I walked down the stairs from the third floor to the second. I walked a couple of feet before I reached a white wooden door. "Youichi, I'm coming in." I turned the gold knob and pushed the door open.

Blue and white walls welcomed me as I walked inside. My eyes traveled across the room until I saw my younger cousin asleep on his bed. He was a silent sleeper – no noise, no movement whatsoever. I kneeled in front of him and stroked his silver-gray hair. He flinched a little and I removed my hand to make sure he wouldn't wake up. I pulled his comforter higher to keep him warm and he unconsciously smiled at the gesture. I stood up and made my way outside his room. I slowly opened and closed the door to make sure no noise would emit from the door.

_Remind Mikan not to disturb her, huh?_ I thought as I continued down the stairs. I wasn't planning on actually listening to her. I was too tired and stressed out. I don't think I could talk to her if I considered everything that happened while we were out of the house. But even when I was that tired, I was still restless. I couldn't bring myself to sleep, even if I closed my eyes and lay on the bed. I thought that a drink of rum would knock my senses out, so I made my way to the kitchen to see if there was any stock left.

As I exited the kitchen, I passed by the library and I noticed that the fireplace was lit. _Nobody usually stays up this late to read_, I thought. As I peered in closer, I realized that Mikan was there, most likely, reading "Sense and Sensibility" or some cheesy-romance novel. I walked towards the library but stopped short at the entrance when I realized that she was in a daze. She had a book in her hands but her eyes were drawn to the fire. Her chocolate brown eyes stared off into space and they reflected the burning flames from the fire place. The browns, the oranges, and the yellows melted into an interesting eye color. She was deep in thought as her eyes traversed pass the fire place and into God only knows where. She was probably processing what happened earlier. I was too, believe me.

I leaned on the mahogany wall and slid down to sit on the red carpet. I sipped from the glass and let my head fall backwards towards the wall. I moved the glass in circular motions as I watched the rum form swirling pools of red, brown, and orange. I set the glass down and let my arms flail to the side. I looked up and met dull lights from the chandelier. As I let my crimson eyes drown into its sparkling dimness, my mind replayed what happened. As much as I wanted to stop it, I couldn't. It kept playing on and on and on, like a broken record. _Damn it_, I mentally swore as I drank more of the rum.

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><p>The school bell rung and the students rushed out the classroom. It was like this every lunchtime. Everyone wanted to be first in line, even if cafeteria food didn't taste spectacularly good.<p>

"It's Meatball Spaghetti Mondays." Ruka approached me with his books tucked in his arms. "I'm pretty sure you don't really want to be there because everyone is there. Central Town?"

"Hn." I walked towards the exit, and as expected, the rest of my friends followed.

As we reached the school hallways, I stopped short when I saw the little girl with my cousin at her locker. The little girl was placing her books back in her locker and she seemed to be enjoying her little chit-chat with Hotaru. I nodded at Ruka as a signal that he and the rest could go ahead. They walked and exited the hallways and I saw that Hotaru left too. Mikan and I were left alone at the corridors. After she closed her locker shut and started to walk, she stopped as she realized that I was standing there watching her. She and I didn't budge. Our eyes remained fixated on each other, but she smiled. I was surprised that she even smiled at me but she quickly broke the connection and walked away.

As she passed by me, I mentally slapped myself for not stopping her. I let her walk away. We had to talk. We had to settle things and made sure that everything was clear between us. We had to clarify the things that happened in that stupid car ride.

I walked and fished my phone out of my pocket to tell Ruka that I wasn't going to follow them anymore.

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><p><strong>To:<strong> Ruka

_Hey, I'll stay here in the academy. I'm having a massive headache. If you don't mind, just buy me something from wherever you guys are eating. Have fun._

I sighed as I walked towards the direction of my "secret" hideout. I desperately needed to cool off, so I sat under the shade that the Cherry Blossom tree provided. A short gust of wind blew as my eyes started to feel heavy. I tried to fight the urge to fall asleep, but my eyes gave in and dozed off to a deep slumber.

* * *

><p><em>The car ride started out silent. She sat on the passenger's seat and hummed a tune from a song I recognized that's popular back in the 90's. Her hums grew louder as she finally broke into song. I listened to her as she sang that teeny-bopper love song. I found it annoying but I smiled at the happiness that emitted from her voice.<em>

"_You're smiling, Natsume. What an interesting sight!" I was caught off guard when I realized that she had been looking at me. _

_But as I said, I was a good actor. If anything, apathy, unconcern, and ego were my specialty. "Oh, so we're on a first name basis already, huh? And you're looking at my gorgeous face, aren't you?"_

"_Well, why not? I do live with you already. Wait—that sounded horrible—but you get my drift. And I was not looking at your face! I just happened to notice it." She folded her arms and looked out the window._

"_Hn." I pressed on the gas pedal as the stop light turned green. "You should sleep. It'll probably take us an hour and a half more to get to the airport."_

"_Oh! I'm not sleepy at all!"_

"_I was hoping you would sleep so the noise would be minimized." I smirked as I already predicted the kind of reaction I was going to receive. _

"_You're so annoying, you know that?"_

"_Well, you tell me that almost every single day."_

"_Glad you know."_

"_Oh, but I know that's what you like about me."_

"_Excuse me?" I saw from my peripheral vision how her eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you serious?"_

_The red light flashed from the stop light, and as I stepped on the breaks, I turned my head towards her direction and smirked. "You tell me."_

"_W-w-well…" Her cheeks blushed a thousand reds and decided to play the same card against me. "I bet you like me because of my gorgeous eyes."_

"_Which you hide behind your glasses all the time."_

_She just looked at me, as if she did not expect for me to say something like that. Well, I did not expect for me to say that as well. I looked away as the green light flickered that moment. I stepped on the gas pedal and I realized that I had just admitted to her, in an implying manner, that I liked her. _Well that was stupid, Natsume_._

_I continued to drive and the rest of the car ride remained silent. I started to panic deep inside. I wondered if she thought about it or she was analyzing it. I couldn't decipher it. _

_An hour passed and we arrived at the airport earlier than I thought. I checked my watch and realized that it would take thirty more minutes before Aoi's plane lands. _This is not good_, I thought. Thirty more minutes of silence, on a non-moving car, was not good. Knowing her, she would talk and ask me questions and I would have to bear with it or eventually answer it._

"_So you like my eyes, huh?" _

_Damn, I was right._

_I ignored the question and instantly turned on the car stereo. It was pop music—great. I didn't care what it was. I just needed something to distract her so that she would stop pestering me. But that didn't work when she suddenly turned off the stereo._

_I cocked my eyebrow at her and I turned it on again. She glared at me and turned it off. And it kept on happening. The sound would blast off and then suddenly disappear. It was unending cycle. It was a good thing there were barely any people around or else we would've gotten scolded at. _

"_What's wrong with you?" I finally gave up and turned my head towards her._

_She backed up and raised her eyebrow at me. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You're disturbing people around you with your loud pop music, which I didn't know you had an affinity for. Plus, you haven't answered my question yet!"_

"_I think I have the choice of answering you or not. And I don't like pop music. It just happened to be the one playing when I turned it on."_

"_Well, it is your stereo. So obviously, you chose that radio station because you like the music there."_

"_Don't argue with me, Mikan. I don't want you having another attack again. Not now when I need to pick up Aoi and bring her home." I gripped the handle of the car door as my frustration grew._

"_You know, I don't get you."_

"_Well, not my problem."_

"_Oh, it is. Believe me."_

"_And why would that be your problem?"_

"_Because sometimes you make me feel special and then at times you just ignore me. You're confusing me, dammit!"_

_My grip loosened after I heard her say that. I didn't want to retaliate because I feared for what might happen next. I didn't want her to have a nervous breakdown, which would most likely lead to another trip to the hospital. I leaned back on the driver's seat and slowly breathed in and out. This was stressing me in so many different levels._

"_I'm sorry," she intertwined her fingers and looked down, "I didn't mean to shout. I have been frustrated a couple of instances whenever we were together. Our 'little' moment a while ago was one of them. Even in the library and when I was in the hospital! I mean, I don't get it Natsume. Are you trying to play a game with me just like your past girlfriends? Because if you are, then I have no time for that! Heck, I don't even know if I have any time for relationships with my current situation. But you're making this really, really, really difficult for me."_

_I took everything she said all in, and I get it. I understood why she felt that way. But I didn't know where to start. Was I supposed to tell her that I never had a girlfriend before? Or do I just tell her that I am currently confused and I can't seem to process my own feelings?_

"_Big brother!" _

_Just when I was about to respond. _

_We both looked out the car and saw a raven-haired little girl frantically waving her hand in the air. I started the car and drove nearer to her. "Put your things at the back. Let's go."_

"_Oh, you're such a big brother. You're not even going to say hello or ask how I am or ask how my trip was?" Her crimson eyes shone as to show how happy she was to be back home. _

_I grunted and rolled my eyes as she rode the car and closed the back car door. "Well, you go there every year. I think I already know how it went."_

_I drove away and I was relieved that we could finally go home. I was comforted with the thought that my conversation with Mikan would be delayed for a while. But things just became worse when my ten-year-old sister decided to bombard her and I with so many questions._

"_You really have no manners, Big Brother!" She pulled herself nearer to the front and smiled. "Hi there, I'm Aoi Hyuuga. Are you my brother's girlfriend? Because if you are, thank God. The whole family's been waiting for the moment that he gets one! And, obviously, you would be the first one!"_

_Mikan was quite shocked, which I guessed answered her question from our previous argument. "I… um… I'm not his girlfriend. And I'm Mikan Sakura. It's nice to meet you."_

"_Oh, you're not? Sorry for asking. I really thought you were—well, hoped." She turned her head towards me and poked my cheek. "Hey, can we pass by Fish Fried? I want a Lifesaver – the one with fish and chips! And I'm pretty sure Big Sister Hotaru wants crab fries again. How about you, Big Sister Mikan? Do you want anything?" _

"_Uhm… Yeah. Sure. Any sounds good!." I could tell that Mikan was trying to take everything in – my hyperactive sister and the fact that I never had a girlfriend in my life._

"_Great! Now hurry, Big Brother! I'm starving!"_

"_Okay, okay. Sit down would you. And wear your seatbelt, you know the rule." My headache started to increase. I had Mikan to worry about and now my sister's back. I shouldn't have let Mikan come with me, even if I wanted to. _

"_Can you please turn up the radio?" My sister demanded and I had to oblige, or else I would never hear the end of it._

_The music played and Aoi continued to sing with the stereo. I few kilometers out the airport, I spotted the seafood fast food chain and went to the drive thru. I ordered food for us and Hotaru's crab fries and we went our way. _

_Aoi locked her seatbelt before eating her food. "Food from Fish Fried is really good, Big Sister Mikan!"_

"_I'm sure it is!" It seemed that Mikan had forgotten our little squabble for a moment as the smell and taste of the food distracted her. _

_They continued to eat and talk about Aoi's trip to Australia and Mikan's life. It was as if it wasn't the first time they met – girls. They kept at it for about twenty to thirty minutes until Aoi fell asleep. I wasn't surprised. Traveling wasn't exactly relaxing as it's supposed to be. _

_The silence returned. I dreaded it as I saw the future in my head. I knew that Mikan would speak up sooner or later, and I was correct. _

"_Please don't make this hard for me, Natsume." That was all she said. It was a definite continuation from our conversation earlier._

_I sighed as I realized that this conversation would happen sooner or later. I might as well deal with it that moment. "I'm having a hard time too, Mikan."_

"_Are you?"_

"_Yeah, I am. It's not that easy to juggle everything I have—responsibilities as a student and as a member of the Hyuuga family—and to have unnecessary emotions to deal with."_

"_Unnecessary? You think that emotions such as _this _are unnecessary?" She was aghast to my word choice, which I understood why. _

"_Well, it's something I know that I don't need as of now."_

"_And why is that? You think feelings are bothersome?"_

"_That's not what I said, little girl. And why are you so worked up? Aren't you glad that I'm not trying to do anything about these 'feelings'? You're the one that said that you're not supposed to fall in love earlier."_

_There was a momentary pause. She didn't know how to react to what I said. I could not predict how the rest of the conversation was going to go anymore. I was anxious and irritated that I had to go through something as, I thought then, stupid as that. _

_I was surprised that the conversation went on. But what surprised me even more was what she answered to my previous statement. "Well, you can't stop it if it's there already. What am I supposed to do? Ignore it? I can't just ignore it, and you shouldn't either."_

_I was mentally freaking out. Was she trying to say that she's in love with me? I really didn't know anymore. Well, I didn't want to assume._

_We finally reached the house and Mikan shook Aoi to wake her up. Aoi rubbed her eyes and slowly got out of the car and got her things. "I'll go on ahead. Good night, you two."_

"_Good night!" Mikan waved as my little sister left. "Well, she's smart for a ten-year-old."_

_I closed the trunk of my car and walked back inside. "Hn."_

_As I locked the door of the house, Mikan hurriedly ran up the stairs but abruptly stopped. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." She didn't even look at me. Well, how could I expect her to, with all the crazy shenanigans that happened? _

_What was I supposed to say when we talk about this again? What am I going to do if she's in love with me? Am I supposed to respond to her? Did I like her? Well, I'm sixty? Seventy percent sure that I did? What the hell. That didn't matter anymore._

* * *

><p>I felt someone shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes to have rays of sunshine attack my eyes. It was painfully bright and I couldn't open my eyes properly. When I finally did, I realized that it was her; it was Mikan that was waking me up. Her dark auburn hair fell to hour shoulders and her big doe eyes, which were still behind those annoying frames, stared at me.<p>

"Hey," she let go of my shoulder, "I know this sounds like I'm imposing, but uhm… we need to talk."

This was the moment that I dreaded before but am thankful for now. This was the moment where everything was revealed and understood. Here, my dearest friends, I believe, was the most ridiculous and hilarious confession from a boy and a girl who took the risk in possibly having their first relationship in their life.


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Tra la la la la. Gakuen Alice and characters aren't mine.

**Author's Note:**

This chapter would probably be one of my favorites. I hope that it would be the same for you guys! I'm glad I was able to upload and I would be uploading more often since I'm on break already! Thank God! Maybe I'll have Chapter 8-10 up before school starts again? Maybe.

Don't forget to leave me reviews, suggestions, comments, and etc!

And thank you for those who have read this and chosen this as their favorite! And, of course, to those who are following this story and are following me as author. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I hope you guys continue to enjoy and read my stories.

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

"About what?" I wasn't trying to play dumb. I just wanted to prolong the conversation and take time in processing and arranging all of the thoughts in my head.

She sat beside me and hugged her knees as her eyes traversed the view before us. She removed her glasses and set it aside as she readied herself to talk. "Well," she buried her face between her legs and her chest and her words muffled as she spoke, "what happened yesterday. Last night. In the car, you know. And yeah. Uhm…"

She was flustered. She was as nervous and as uncertain as I was. But she was courageous enough to step up and make the both of us realize the need to talk this out now and not wait any longer. "I know this is unladylike of me but uhm…"

"Ladylike? You? Since when?" I joked as an attempt to ease her mood.

She slapped my shoulder and folded her arms. "You're mean, you know that?"

I couldn't help but have the corners of my lips rise. Her eyes widened as if it was the first time she saw me genuinely smiling. She giggled then she returned the smile. "Anyway," her cheeks flushed a thousand reds as she prepped herself with what she was about to say, "like I said, this is going to sound unladylike and this goes against everything my mom taught me about boys and confrontation… Oh you know! When I was young, my mom took me to the playground near our house. And I met a boy about my age there and you know what she said? She was so funny! She told me that—"

"Mikan." I interrupted her before she started to hyperventilate and go into another attack. I was not ready to be another reason and witness of her heart malfunction. "Calm down. You don't have to be in a rush. I'm not."

She looked at me, inconsistently breathing. "Okay…" She leaned on my shoulder and inhaled and exhaled deeply. She was in the middle of composing herself when her body jolted from my sudden actions. "Uh… Natsume?"

I just leaned my head on hers and I pulled her closer. I let my arm linger around her waist and sighed. "Are you calm? Are you ready?"

I felt her nod and breathed normally. "I don't know when and I don't know why, but I like you. And the reason I got ticked off that time was because I felt like you did too, but sometimes it seemed like you didn't. It was like you were inconsistent."

"You don't know why you like me? Really?" I teased.

She buried her face in her hands as an attempt to lessen its redness. "Wait, would you!"

I laughed and nodded my head as a sign for her to continue on. She lifted her face away from her hands and breathed heavily. "I'm not supposed to be feeling these things but like I said, you can't stop it once it's there. I figured you never had a relationship before and I haven't either! I guess that explains a lot of things about our encounters lately. And Hotaru told me of how you turn down all those who have confessed to you, so I was nervous for that. But I'm okay now. You can turn me down now. I just wanted you to know. I mean, my feelings aren't that serious. I like you, but it's not like I'm dying to have you. You know what I'm saying? And I heard from Hotaru how you turned down Wakako! That was hilarious! And—"

"You seriously think I'm going to turn your feelings down? And your feelings aren't _that_ serious?" I lifted my head and looked at her.

"W-w-well, you've never accepted feelings of girls before. So… Yeah. And it's not that I'm not serious… It's just. I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Well, I'm serious."

She lifted her head and looked at me with questioning eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

"Do I have to say it?"

"Well, I was hoping you would say something, anything really."

"You're quite airheaded and loud, you wear the weirdest underwear, and you read books for fun. Honestly, there's nothing too special about that."

"Are you insulting me?" She nudged my side with her elbow.

"Would you let me finish?"

She lowered her head in embarrassment and nodded. "Sorry."

"With all that being said," I reached for her chin and turned her to face me, "I still like you. And, I'm _serious_ about my feelings."

Her chocolate-brown eyes widened as if she expected the opposite. Her lips trembled and no words could escape them. It seemed that my words resulted to her mind going blank and her inability to move.

"Look, little girl," she snapped back from her trance and she cocked her eyebrow as I called her by that nickname that she didn't necessarily like, "I like you that's true, and you like me too. But I won't rush you into anything. We don't have to be together, dating, whatever you call it. We don't need to rush this because these are important things that have to be taken seriously."

Our eyes met and she gave me the most angelic smile. "You know, it's a surprise how much you have talked today. You're not normally like this."

"Hn."

"So you're back to your 'Hn' again?" She pushed me with her body weight.

"Hn."

"Hey! Come on!"

"Hn."

"Whatever, Natsume! I hate you." She folded her arms and looked away.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and her body jumped to the sudden contact. "Do you?"

"Yes!" She pouted and tried to avert her gaze from me.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

I neared my face to hers and I whispered in her ear, "Do you really?"

She squirmed in my arms and giggled. "Fine, I don't."

"So let me ask you then, what do you want to happen now?"

She sighed and leaned on my chest. "I-I-I think we should take it slow, like you said. I m-m-mean, I don't know anything about relationships and such. I don't even know you that well! I mean, how would we know, how would I know that this is going to work? Are we old enough to do this, to be in a relationship?"

"You're such an old maid."

"An old maid?" She looked up to meet my eyes and I could see the exasperation in her eyes.

"The way you're so conservative, the questions you ask, and whatnot shows like you came from five generations back."

"Whatever! As if you're experienced! And there's nothing wrong with being old-fashioned when it comes to relationships. It's better to be cautious than to get into something that you're unsure of. And besides, you like this old maid anyway." She blushed at her own statement and looked away.

I didn't respond to that because we both already knew it was true. I buried my face into her hair and I relished the smell of tangerines and strawberries that emitted from her. Her small frame was caged in my arms and I loved the fact that she stayed still. I knew she was making most of the moment just as I was.

The sun hid behind the clouds and the shadows of the branches grew. The shade was cooler and darker. I closed my eyes and tightened my hold on her. I felt her smile at the gesture as she cuddled closer. I could feel my heartbeat going stronger and as she leaned on me, her heartbeat synched with mine. The 'tugs' and the 'dugs' that are hearts made were so strong that I can still hear it in my head up to today. I loved that moment and I know that she did too.

But Mikan was best at ruining moments; she jolted inside my arms when an idea popped in her head. "Let's go on a date!"

I cocked an eyebrow at her as she continued to fidget and smile at the flowing ideas and images in her head. "Hn."

"Oh, come on! I mean, it's going to be fun. I want to make the most of my life, and dating is part of that! Come on, you're not going to turn me down are you?" She pouted and her eyes watered as she pleaded to me.

"You really are unladylike, you know that?"

"Why?" Her pout lingered and her head bowed in discouragement.

"Because the guy is the one who's supposed to ask you and not the other way around."

"But if I wait for you, you'll never ask me!"

"Hn."

"See!"

"Well, you don't know that. Maybe I was already thinking of asking you."

"Were you?" She raised her eyebrow at me as a sign of disbelief.

"Hn."

"You are so unpredictable!"

"Thank you."

She groaned loudly and sunk in my arms as a sign of defeat. But her head quickly turned to face me when she heard what I said.

"I'll choose where to go."

Her eyes sparkled in excitement and she literally jumped and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I can't wait!"

I smirked and hugged her by the waist. "Come on. The school bell is about to ring. We should get going."

"Okay!" We both stood up and she ran off. I guessed that she couldn't contain all of the excitement that was building up in her, so she completely forgot to wait for me. But that was okay. Her happiness and excessive smiles is what makes her who she was. And that's what I like about her, which I would never admit in public, mind you.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as it received a text message. I fished it out only to discover that it was from my dear, sweet cousin.

* * *

><p><strong>From:<strong> Hotaru

_Finally._

I cocked my eyebrow at her message because I wasn't quite sure what it meant. As I was about to reply, my phone rang and the call register flashed my best friend's name.

"Yeah?"

"_Look up, Nat."_

As I did, I spotted my best friend and her girlfriend at the window, smirking and giggling. "That's why. You guys saw the whole thing?"

"_Hotaru didn't want to miss anything and…"_

"And what?" I was getting annoyed already and it seemed that I was about to get more.

"_She said look closer."_

I saw a picture of Mikan hugging me stuck on the glass window. And as I continued to stare at it, Hotaru let it slide and started to walk away. "Hey! What do you think you're doing? Where do you think you're doing?"

"_Sorry, Nat. Gotta go."_ Ruka put the phone down and I groaned as to how my best friend and my cousin tortured me at this very moment.

I literally ran inside the building and I panted and breathed as I made it to the window. I saw the picture stuck on the edge of the window pane and I pulled it out. It was difficult at first because I was trying not to rip the picture in any way. But I successfully pulled the picture out without and rip, although there were creases here and there. I couldn't help but smile at the Polaroid shot of Mikan and I. It was a summary of everything that happened that moment, and it truly made me smile. I shoved the picture in my back pocket as the school bell rung and I made my way back before I became late for Trigonometry class.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Review for me please! It would help me a lot! :)

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Gakuen Alice is not mine. I get it.

**Author's Notes:**

Longest chapter to date! I'm so happy! I hope you like this chapter. I honestly had a difficult time in writing this because I was lacking inspiration, but I'm glad I was able to finish it already.

Please review, comment, or leave me a message about this chapter! Thanks a bunch! Oh, and thank you for the new followers and favorites! I appreciate it very much!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

How long did it take for a girl to get ready, really? It has always been a mystery to me. Aoi, being only ten years of age, took forever in the shower and would normally have difficulty in choosing between her red dresses from her pink ones. My mother, oh don't get me started with that one—shower took about half an hour, dressing up felt like she could take the whole day, and putting on her make-up felt like it were about to enter forever. Hotaru, well, she's a different case. But really? Was it the fickle-mindedness? Was it just the unclear idea of what to wear? Was it the avoidance of repeating clothes?

I tapped on my knee as I waited for Mikan impatiently on the couch of our living room. I looked over the mirror on the wall and examined what I wore – black denims, a red shirt, a black leather jacket, and sneakers. _Was I too underdressed for what Mikan was about to wear?_ I groaned as I continued to wait for Mikan to finish so we could go out already.

I noticed the picnic basket's reflection on the mirror and I grinned to my excitement for what's going to happen today. Yes, you could say that I planned our first date. Thinking about it makes me realize how much of a cheese ball I was back then, but I didn't care. I wanted to have fun, which I haven't had for quite a while, and I wanted Mikan to enjoy her first date without worrying over reservations and whatnot. This was very unlike me, I know. But Mikan made me go an extra mile and do things that I normally didn't do. I couldn't explain it nor could I pinpoint what exactly it was.

I glanced at my watch to find how late we were already.

Seven pm—just great.

Mikan was many great things but she was always late. I noticed how she would run in class, panting with balling eyes, and making it in just the nick of time. She was also late with homework. She would panic and scribble away answers and she would miraculously get an eighty-five or a ninety. It came in handy sometimes, I think.

Well, not really.

Five minutes later, a brunette popped out of nowhere with her arms extended upwards and twirling around to show me what she wore. "Well, what do you think?" She flashed me _that_ smile – the smile that I didn't know how to resist.

"I think you're an hour and a half late." I was half-joking and half-serious.

"Sorry about that! I couldn't decide to wear!"

_Figures._

She skipped towards me and you could just see her excitement and how it was written across her face. "And what are we going to do tonight?"

I stood up beside her and pulled her closer by the waist. "That," I kissed her forehead and I could smell her distinct scent of tangerines and strawberries, "is a secret."

She blushed at my actions but before she could respond, we noticed our mother whom we realized has been watching the two of us.

"Well now," I released my hold on Mikan as soon as I heard my mother's voice, "I was just away in Malaysia for around two weeks for a business trip and I come home to see this." Her crimson eyes, which I inherited, glowed and glinted at the sight she saw. "Since when have you two been going out?"

"Mother," I cocked my eyebrow for her nosiness.

"Isn't it so great, mom?" I heard my little sister giggle from the stairs who, apparently, was spying on us as well.

"Aoi!" I glared at her and she jumped at the sound of her name that was mixed with agony and frustration.

"Oh, don't deny it." Hotaru plastered her famous evil smirk across her face as she fixed her camera settings.

"You better thank me! I helped Big Sister Mikan with her outfit." She grinned and raised her eyebrows at me.

"So that's why she's more than an hour late. I knew it was your fault."

"Whatever! At least she looks great! Admit it…" I hated the smug that graced her face.

But as I glanced over my shoulder to look at Mikan, she did look adorable in her green skirt, green and white striped sweater, and boots. And I liked how her hair casually fell over her shoulders until her waist. Her cheeks reddened even more when she realized that I was looking at her. I grinned and I reached for her hand. I squeezed it to assure her that she did look great and that she didn't have to be embarrassed at all.

"Yuka would've loved to see this. I wish she was here to see the two of you with me…" My mom smiled, but a sad smile at that. I knew my mom missed her best friend but I bet Mikan missed her mother and father more than anyone of us here.

I squeezed her hand tighter because I knew that it must have been hard for her. I'm sure it was tough on her. But she smiled and nodded at my mom, understanding and agreeing to what my mom had just said.

"Come, Mikan! I will teach you what I taught your mom back when we were in the university." My mom quickly approached us and grabbed her other hand and dragged her away.

"Really, mom? We're already late."

"Late for what?" She turned to face me and raised her eyebrow at me. "It's only seven-fifteen. Don't be such a kill joy, Natty. Just give me fifteen to thirty minutes!"

_Natty_? I hated that nickname, more than any of the others. "You know that when you say that, it automatically becomes two hours."

"No, no! I promise!"

"Yeah , right." And they disappeared from my sight.

_Tic, tic, tic._ I could hear the second hand of the grandfather clock as time passed.

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

Fifteen minutes.

I leaned on the wooden wall near the library door and groaned. _How long was this going to take?_

"Come on, Big Brother. Don't be so impatient! Beauty takes time." Aoi clung onto my arm and leaned on me.

"Hn."

"She should come out anytime soon."

"Hn."

" You'll see she's going to look—"

Aoi was interrupted by what she saw and the moment I shared the view with my younger sister, I saw such a beautiful young lady in front of me. My mom did do wonders when it came to make-up and hair—not too much, not too little.

I walked to her and reached for hand. I leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "You look great, but can we please go now?"

She giggled and she nodded her head. I grabbed the picnic basket and took her hand. We both walked towards the door and she looked back to say goodbye to my mother and sister. "Bye Aoi, Aunt Kaoru, Hotaru! Thank you for tonight!"

I slammed the door and we both stood outside the front door. "You ready?"

"Yeah. I'm excited!" She gleamed and locked her arm with mine.

"You promise to just follow?"

"What?" Her eyes widened in fear.

"Just follow me, okay?

"O… No." She folded her arms and grinned at me.

I sternly focused my eyes on her as I knew that she was just playing around. "Come on, little girl."

"What are we going to do? I want to know!" She pouted.

"No. I'm not telling you."

"Oh come on. Please?"

"No."

She eyed the picnic basket and squinted at me more. "I bet we're going to do a picnic!"

"No, not really."

"Yeah, right!"

"Think whatever you want to think."

"Why don't you just tell me?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Why not?" She turned around and pretended to be annoyed. "I'm not going if you don't tell me."

I walked towards and leaned in to whisper in her ears. "Really, little girl? You won't go?"

Her body jolted and she slightly elbowed my stomach. "Stop calling me that!" She stuck her tongue out and narrowed her eyes at me. "And y-y-yes. I won't go if you don't tell me."

"Suit yourself." I walked away knowing that she would give in eventually. I didn't dare look back because I knew she would walk up to me and give up.

_5._

_4._

_3._

_2._

_1._

"Okay! Okay! Fine, I won't ask."

_I knew it._

Her chocolate brown eyes glared at me but they still wondered on the probable events of that night. Her chin was cupped by her forefinger and her thumb as she continued to contemplate on how our date would go. I wish I knew what she had thought but the mere sight of her confused and bewildered state already made it amusing enough.

"Hey," I cut her off from her trance and smirked at her baffled state. "Catch," I threw a white helmet towards her and she almost dropped it.

"Er… Natsume?" She alternately looked at me and the helmet she held.

"Hn?"

"What is this?"

"It's a penguin, Mikan." I rolled my eyes at her as I closed the motorbike's trunk.

"I'm serious! Aren't we riding you car?"

"No." I twisted the handles of my black Harley and I grinned. "We're taking my motorbike."

"Oh, hell no. You can't make me ride that! I might have a heart attack, _literally_." She squinted and threw the helmet back at me. "And do you even know how to ride that thing?"

"Why would I have one if I didn't know how to use it? And you're not going to have a heart attack. You just have to trust me. Don't you trust me?" I handed her the helmet and waited for her to take it.

"Well, I…" She continuously looked at me, the helmet, and my motorbike—she was _that_ worried. She walked up to me and held the helmet and sighed heavily. "Fine. But if anything happens to me—"

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." I wore my black helmet and rode the bike. I waited for her to do the same but I could still see the hesitation in her eyes. "Come on. You'll be fine."

She wore the helmet slowly and climbed on the motorbike behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and inhaled sharply. "D-d-don't go so fast, okay?"

"Just hold on tight." I twisted the handles to prep the bike and I felt her hold on me tighten every time the bike would create similar sounds. As much as she was nervous and freaking out, I enjoyed how she held on to me so tight as if she would never let go. "Let's go?" I looked behind me and she simply nodded.

I let go of the brakes and the motorbike sped up. I could hear the "eeep" she made as the motorbike drove away. Her tensed muscles grew tenser by the second and I honestly had a hard time focusing. I had a feeling her eyes were closed shut and I could tell because of how her head was buried so deep on my back.

"Mikan, relax. Open your eyes. What you see while riding a motorbike is really cool."

"No!" Her voice was so loud despite the helmet and my back muffling her voice.

"Come on. Just take a peek."

It was silent for a while until I heard her intake of breath. I smirked to her amusement and amazement. I wouldn't deny my amusement, as well. The sound of wind and the speed of light was all you could sense. Everything was a blur because of how fast everything went by. Streaks of yellows, purples, and blues from cafes, bars, and other cars sped pass us. The sound of laughter and chatter on the sidewalk was faintly heard because of the loud vrooms the motorbike made.

After a good twenty minutes, I slowed down the motorbike and our surroundings became clearer than seconds back. She got down the bike and took off the helmet with a smile on her face.

"Well, that was fun I have to admit!"

I took off my helmet and grinned. "I told you so."

"Whatever!" She stuck her tongue out and placed the helmet in the trunk of the motorbike. She looked around and had difficulty identifying our location because of the darkness. "Where exactly are we?"

"Look over there." I tilted my head in the direction of our destination as I got the picnic basket out of the bike.

She slowly walked and then ran downhill. She twirled around the flat grassy fields at the bottom of the hill and her laughter resounded everywhere. "This is amazing! And you can see the city! This is so amazing! How on earth did you find such a place?" She sat on the ground and gazed at the skyscrapers of Tokyo City. She was happy and I was glad that I made her happy.

I lay the blue and red checkered cloth on the slanted part of the hill and took out the food from the basket. "If you want to dirty your skirt, that's fine with me. I am perfectly comfortable up here."

She looked behind and her eyes widened in delight. She ran up to me and grinned happily. "I knew we were going to have a picnic!"

"Yeah, okay. Sit down already."

She sat beside me and she chose a sandwich and bit it. "This is a good first date. I'm happy!"

I smiled, and happy was a word that was lacking in what I truly felt. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She jolted a bit; clearly she was not used to it yet, but leaned on my shoulder anyway.

"The view is beautiful…" Her eyes remained fixated on the outskirts of Tokyo City. It was amazing – the tall buildings, the lights that emitted from everywhere.

But my eyes were on her, and at that time, I mentally slapped myself for blurting out what I did. "You're beautiful."

She gaped at me, as if it was the first time I complimented her. "Uhm…"

But I found some bread crumbs and sauce on her face and smirked at the sight. "Well, now you look like a pig."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes widened in anger and exasperation.

I laughed and used my finger to remove the dirt off her face. "You eat like a little girl."

"Whatever." She stuck her tongue at me then smiled.

Our eyes met right then and there. There would be multiple times when this happened, but this was the first time our eyes locked and were unmoved within that length of time. It was a battle between hazel and crimson, an attempt in trying to find a connection. Her dark brown eyes became softer by the minute and I was finding it hard to resist even more. I tucked one of her loose strands of hair behind her ear and my finger grazed on her soft cheek. I slowly leaned closer and our eyes slowly closed. I guessed she got nervous when she cleared her throat and pulled away. I smirked and decided not to tease her about it, thinking she wasn't ready for it.

"Er… So," she attempted to distract me, "how come your dad doesn't live with you?" I froze at the question. My father was a topic I disliked talking about. I knew Mikan's intentions were to lighten the atmosphere and, out of nervousness, that was just the question that immediately entered her mind. "He lives in Australia, right? At least, that's what Aoi told me."

I sighed heavily. My chest became heavy and it started to ache. Was I supposed to tell her that I was uncomfortable talking about my own father? Was I supposed to brush it off and pretend that she didn't ask? With all of those questions that ran in my head, I decided that I should answer her. If we were going to date and if we were going to be together, she had to know. I shouldn't hide anything from her.

"I'll be honest with you, Mikan." She lifted her head to look at me and listen. She waited for the following sentences and watched me as I was about to talk to her. "My father was a famous doctor. He specialized in surgery as far as I could remember. Sure, he was great but he was not much of a father to Aoi and I or a husband to my mother. Before Aoi was born, he was always busy with work. Mom didn't mind because of how she was busy with her clothing line and she didn't think suspiciously of anything. When Aoi was born, the busyness got worse. And when my mother was out for a two-week business trip, he brought home an unknown woman. I had initially thought that it was a new business partner, but I was wrong." By then, Mikan's face became annoyed, sad, and hurt. As if she was doing it in my stead. "My father was having an affair and it took more than three years for my mother to find out. She was heartbroken; she almost cried every night. But my mother decided to be strong and she filed an annulment with him. It's been five years."

"I-I-I'm sorry, Natsume. I didn't mean to ask such a personal question." Mikan lowered her head and looked away.

"It's alright. It's something you should know." I pulled her closer to assure her that I wanted her to know those things.

"I'm guessing you don't visit him in Australia."

"No, I don't want to. Aoi visits him because she thinks that mom and dad could somehow get back together. She goes there every year ever since the annulment happened. I don't know if I could trust him again. He hurt my mom and who's to say he won't do it again."

"I understand you. Don't worry." She wrapped her arm around my waist and my arm went up to her shoulder. "It's alright, you know? That you find it difficult to trust the person that you looked up to."

"Hn."

"When my parents died, I didn't know who I could trust. I was so scared and so lost until I met Hotaru. She became some sort of mother towards me and I appreciated it. She was with me when my illness was surfacing and when my symptoms grew worse. She went with me to the hospital and she made sure my secret was kept safe. The people that you used to trust will disappear. But it doesn't mean there won't be other people that you can't trust. You added in that list of mine, Natsume. I know I can trust you. I can trust you with my life."

I was deeply touched. I had no words at that time. I just gaped and was awed by the instant answer she had with my struggle towards my own father, with what I shared. I looked away, fearing that she would see the tears that collected on the rims of my eyelids. I breathed slowly and heavily until I met my composure. I looked at her and brushed my fingers on her cheeks again. She smiled and nodded her head, as if she knew what I wanted. She closed her eyes and so did I. Our lips met to an innocent, short, and sweet kiss.

As our lips parted, she bowed her head to think of what to say to me. She looked me in the eyes and touched my cheek with her hand. "Don't be afraid to trust people, Natsume. People will come and go in your life. It doesn't stop with your father. Learn to open up your circle to new friends, to new people. You never know, you might meet someone new that could change your life."

I nodded my head and I pulled her to a hug. "You. You're the one that's changing my life now."

I wasn't lying. But little did I know how much gravity her words meant. I didn't know how those words could affect me. I didn't know that it would be difficult to do what she had told me. I had thought that she was helping me reconcile with my father. But I was damn wrong. The echo of this statement increased the hurt I felt after my sweet and cherished moments with her. I couldn't believe how oblivious I was to the deeper and underlying meaning of what she had told me. What I am talking about will be soon revealed to all of you. And believe me, it still hurts to this day. Sometimes I beat myself up for not seeing the signs, but I wondered if I would've enjoyed my time with her if I did.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I'm excited to write the next few chapters! I think the story's about to end. _Maybe._ Haha!

Don't forget to leave me a review!

Lots of love!

**~dancedaze**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Gakuen Alice will never be mine (even though I wish it was).

**Author's Notes:**

Wow. I just realized how long it took for me to update this story! I'm so sorry. I was busy with school and work and life that I completely ignored this story. I only realized the need to update it when I was getting more reviews and and favorites. Thank you guys for being patient and waiting for this chapter.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

I lied on the bed and covered my eyes with my right arm. I sighed deeply as I thought of the future, _my_ future. There was graduation, a university, and my relationship with Mikan. I couldn't understand the stress levels I experienced that night, but there was one person who has always put my mind at ease. The wooden door resounded as someone knocked on the door—speak of the devil.

"Can I come in, Natsume?" Mikan's voice echoed from outside. I grunted as I stood up and made my way across the room. I opened the door to have an angel smiling at me. She wrapped her arms around me and sighed. "Are you okay?"

She was amazing. She always knew when there was something bothering me. I wrapped my arms around her and grinned. "Yes, I'm okay."

I loosened my grip and led her inside the room. She immediately ran to one of the bean bags and flopped to a comfortable position. "So what's been on your mind? I noticed that you were in deep thought over dinner, but I didn't think you would be comfortable talking about it with other people there."

I sat on my bedside and released a grunt. "Mom talked to me when we came home from school. She told me about her clothing line and the possibility of me inheriting it unless I decide to do something else. So I've been thinking about what if's and the how's and everything else. Well, a university is what I should be thinking about first."

"Oh please, Natsume! You're so smart. I guarantee that you'll enter every university you take an exam for." She pulled her legs closer to her as she continued to assure me.

"You think so?"

Mikan let out a giggle. "The lack of confidence does not suit you."

"Tch." I jumped off my bed and made my way towards her. I sat beside her, and without a moment to lose, and tickled her on the waist.

"S-STOP, NATSUME!" She laughed and tried to runaway but failed. I tickled her until she fell from the bean bag. "I-I-I can't breathe anymore!" Her laughter filled the entire room. I stopped before she truly couldn't breathe.

I stood up and reached my arm for her to hold. As she took my hand, I pulled her up and into a long embrace. "Mikan, I was also thinking about our future."

I felt her hands squeezing the back of my shirt. She didn't say anything. She simply nodded her head.

"I still want to be with you, Mikan. While we're in the university, working, whatever the situation is, I still want to be with you." I tightened my embrace and waited for her to say something back. But she was silent. Her silence made me nervous and I didn't know what was about to happen.

She entangled our embrace and smiled. She dashed out of my room and quickly came back with a stack of books and papers in her hands.

"What are those?" I raised my eyebrows and watched her as she struggled carrying those books.

She breathed heavily as she dropped the books on my study desk. "These, Natsume, are books you're going to study for your entrance exam in Tokyo U! It's this Saturday already, right?"

"Hn."

"Oh, come on! You were just talking about how worried you were about the future."

"And you were just telling me how smart I was."

"That is true. But," she took my hands in hers and smiled, "you have to give your best in everything. Because then, everything will be worth it in the end."

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Alright, I'll study. But I can't promise you that I won't fall asleep in the middle of it."

She giggled and pushed me to my desk. "Go already!"

I sat down and watched her leave my room. When she disappeared from my sight, I opened a book that had Aunt Yuka's name on it. As I scanned the rest of the books and papers from that stack, I realized that they all belonged to her. I smiled and read the notes that were written on the side of the paragraphs that mattered. I memorized the highlighted sentences and words. I was surprised at myself that I was actually putting an effort into studying. But, of course, I eventually fell asleep as I've always had whenever I studied.

At around one o'clock in the morning, I woke up and realized I fell asleep on my study desk. I felt cloth over my shoulders and an open book under my face and arms. My vision was hazed but I noticed my coffee mug beside the stack of books and papers. I pushed myself up and rubbed my eyes to make my vision clearer. I took the coffee mug and drank the coffee that, I guessed, Mikan made for me. As I drank the coffee I saw pink paper stuck on the other side of the mug and rotated it to read it.

_Don't stay up too late! 3_

_- Mikan_

I pulled the note off the mug and smelled it – even the ink of her pen somehow smelled like tangerines. I stuck it on one of the sides of my study desk as I stretched my arms and decided to go back to studying. As I opened to page 129, I saw doodles of food and random song lyrics from the 80's. I was amused that Aunt Yuka was the type that seemed to be bored in class all the time. I remembered suddenly, in that moment, when my mom and I attended her funeral. It was a year after Mikan's father's funeral, and I found it so strange that I overlooked Mikan in both occasions. I didn't know who she was and why she cried. But things changed. I was with Mikan already and I was happy to be with her. She's always smiling, always cheerful. She encouraged me and was always there for me. I didn't think I would ever see the Mikan that shed tears like the Mikan that did at her parents' funerals.

But as always, I was wrong.

* * *

><p>My hand intertwined with hers, we made our way to the nearest Starbucks from Tokyo University. I just finished taking the exam, and it wasn't as hard as everyone made it out to be. We found an available table and went in line as Mikan tinkered with her MacBook. After ordering our coffee, I returned to our table and watched her as she crinkled her nose and as her eyebrows creased.<p>

"You okay?" I peered at what she was working on.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She sipped some of her coffee and grunted. "I just can't seem to find the right words to describe this book I'm reviewing." She lightly tapped on her keyboard and read through the last pages of Anne Rice's _The Sleeping Beauty Novels_.

"Wow! You read Anne Rice! It seems like we like the same books." Mikan and I lifted our heads to find Sumire standing in front of us. "I'm really sorry to disturb your date. It's just, I planned on studying here for the next exam and there was no table left. Do you mind?"

"No, not all!" Mikan exclaimed as she moved some of her belongings to make room for Sumire's.

Sumire sat down and took out her books, notebooks, pens, highlighters, and an iPad. She sipped some of her coffee and smiled at the two of us. "So how was the Tokyo University exam? I was about to go mental when I reached the part of probability and statistics! I don't think I'll ever need it though, since I'm planning to go to Vantan Design Insitute after two years of being in a university."

"I did pretty okay." I relaxed in my seat and turned my venti cup clockwise.

"Of course it was okay for you, Natsume." Sumire rolled her eyes and chuckled.

Mikan's eyes widened in excitement. "That is so amazing! You want to become a fashion designer?"

"Well, my goal ever since I was in preschool was to be like Kaoru Hyuuga. I've looked up to her ever since I was a child." Sumire pressed on her iPad screen and showed us sketches. "Here's what I've been working on for my portfolio. I have to submit one if I want to get in."

"You're so talented, Sumire!" Mikan reached for her iPad and swiped the screen to see more of Sumire's drawings.

"So how was the test for you, Mikan?" Sumire crossed her legs and leaned back.

I noticed how Mikan's fingers froze and how her eyes widened. I creased my eyebrows as I tried to analyze her actions. And it suddenly dawned upon me that she didn't take the test.

"Uh… I… I didn't take the test." Mikan smiled and returned Sumire's iPad.

"How come? Tokyo University is going to take you to places! Judging from your interests, you want to be a writer?" Sumire twirled her pen and sipped from her coffee.

Mikan laughed nervously. "Not really." She focused back on her MacBook and her book. Her eyes shifted in every direction and she bit her lip as she was avoiding the topic.

"So what do you want to do? Or where do you want to study?" Sumire's questioning made Mikan even more uncomfortable. Normally, I would've stopped Sumire but I was curious too. I waited for her answer.

Mikan gathered her things quickly and shoved them inside her sling bag. She stood up, breathing heavily, and forced a smile. "I… Uh… I'll work back home." She dashed outside and Sumire sat there stunned.

I dashed out the coffee shop and left Sumire behind. "Hey, Natsume! Mikan!"

"Mikan!" I called out to her but she instantly disappeared. I grunted and ran to the direction of our house. I was afraid that Mikan might have collapsed and I couldn't the risk letting her go home by herself. She looked frazzled, nervous, and scared – and those were signs of another episode.

I saw people crowding in a sidewalk and my fears were realized. I fished my phone out and called Hotaru.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I hope you guys liked this chapter! Keep the reviews coming! And thank you for those who chose this story as their favorite and for choosing me as one of their favorite authors!

Love you guys!

**~dancedaze**


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Yes, I know for a fact that I do not own Gakuen Alice.

**Author's Notes:**

Hi, guys! Thank you for those who newly read this story and for choosing this as one of your favorites and follows. Thank you, too, for those who have followed me as an author and chose me as one of their favorites. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don't get too excited now, the story's flow is something even I'm unsure of. Haha!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

The sound of chatter and simultaneous banging of lockers filled the entire hallway of Alice Academy. It's been a week since Mikan was admitted to the hospital and three days that she's been ignoring me. I was so confused, so flustered, that I lost that cool edge I normally carried. I felt my eyebrows crease and my fists curl into balls as I stared at my half empty locker. I felt a slight pressure on my left shoulder as a hand shook it to get my attention.

"Hey, Nat. You've been spacing out for quite some time now." I turned to see that it was my blonde best friend with his white rabbit. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I turned and remembered what I was really doing in front of my locker – getting my textbooks for the following periods, "I guess."

"Is this about Mikan?"

My head snapped and my crimson eyes fixated on Ruka's blue ones. _Am I that easy to read now?_ "Not really."

"Uhuh. If you say so…" He trailed off as he walked to the classroom. Ruka knew me best. He knew when to talk about certain things and when to just leave me alone. Sometimes, it irritates me but you could say I was grateful for it most of the time.

"Sure, I'll go with you." Without a second to spare, my head turned towards that voice I was so familiar with.

I watched her as she walked from the entrance and down the hallway with my cousin and all the confusion and wonder rose in levels and degrees that you could not comprehend yourself. When she noticed that I was watching her, her cheeks turned a shade of red and her eyes brimmed with tears. She squeezed Hotaru's hand and looked away. Hotaru's and my eyes connected, and for that moment, I couldn't even understand the expression she had—sadness, at a loss, wonder, and even hopeful. I couldn't really tell. She pulled Mikan's hand and quickly walked through the hallway as if I didn't exist.

I quietly, but firmly, closed my locker. My pent-up frustration was reaching its maximum point, and I honestly didn't know how much longer I could back-off. I walked the hallways by myself, with so many thoughts and memories, of that week, flashed in my mind.

* * *

><p>"<em>Ah, I see. So the topic of school was brought up." Hotaru leaned on the hospital's glass window and looked out. She sighed and watched the pit-pattering rain as it fell.<em>

"_Is there… Something I should know?" I looked down and remained my gaze on the cold, hard floor. I gripped my hands tighter, feeling I was going to hear really bad news._

_Hotaru sighed once again—heavier and deeper. "You should ask her once she wakes up. I don't think it's a good idea for me to tell you."_

"_Hotaru, it's been two days. She hasn't moved an inch! I'm so annoyed and frustrated and—"_

"_Are you stupid?" Let me tell you, that was the first time someone has ever said that to me. How could I forget? "You think that you're the one that's having a hard time? Mikan's the one with the heart condition and you seriously think that she can wake up just because you're annoyed and frustrated? Sometimes I think—"_

"_It's not that!" _

_Hotaru's shock registered all over her face. It was most likely because I was never close to losing my cool, and true enough, I was quite close._

_I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly. "I'm annoyed that I can't do anything about her situation. And I don't know what the hell the cause of it was."_

_Hotaru walked towards me and sat on the empty chair beside me. "Well, you just have to wait for her to wake up."_

"_Hn."_

"_And don't talk to her the way you just did once she does. She might have another episode. You should know your effect on her." She stood up and brushed some dirt off her jeans. She walked past me and entered the room that Mikan slept in._

"_Of course I do. But her effect on me is stronger," I murmured. Half of me was glad she didn't hear that, but half of me wished she did. Why, you ask? It was because of that feeling that I wished that someone would rescue me from this confusion and pain. It was something I wouldn't dare admit to anyone, not even to Mikan. _

_Three days went by and Mikan finally woke up. Her chocolate-brown eyes looked tired and her smile was weak, so I didn't bother her to give me an explanation._

_We rode my car and we silently went on our way home. I felt her squirm on the passenger's seat and how she would glance at me from time to time. I get it. She was trying her best to tell me something, but I wasn't giving her any sign that I was willing to listen. Around ten to fifteen minutes after, we finally reached the house. I aligned the car to our front gate and shifted the gear to park. _

_I sighed and looked at the one seated nervously beside me. "If you feel uncomfortable telling me now, that's alright with me. But I won't deny the fact that I'm frustrated because I don't know anything." _

"_I know and I'm sorry…" With her head bowed, she clenched her fists tight and they shook with agony and fear. "About college, or university rather," she paused and inhaled deeply._

_I reached my hand to hold hers and assured her that I was listening. "You don't want to go to Tokyo University? Is that what's bothering you?"_

"_It's not that."_

"_Then… What is it?"_

_She slowly intertwined her fingers with mine and slowly looked at me in the eyes. Tears brimmed in her eyes and I feared for what she was about to say. "I'm not going to any university after we graduate from high school."_

_I froze. I understood what she meant from those words alone, but I refused to accept it. I wanted her to explain and maybe, just maybe, my fears wouldn't come to life. _

"_The doctors tried everything they could. They said I was doing okay the last couple of years, but months before this school year started they said that something went wrong and that there's no treatment for it. I-I-I…" I slowly slipped my hand away and looked outside the car window. "Natsume… I'm sorry."_

_I was frozen. I couldn't face Mikan. I didn't want her to see me in such state. I didn't want to be weak in front of her, but I couldn't speak. I was stupid and foolish for not telling her what she needed to hear at that time. It felt as if my heartbeat stopped._

"_Natsume, please say something."_

_The atmosphere became still and heavy. And it grew that way every second. _

"_This was why I said I wasn't supposed to fall in love. I don't have enough time to give you and I knew that I was only going to hurt you. But why won't you say anything?! Do you know how much this hurts me too?!"_

I know. I know you're hurting too._ But I didn't say it. I didn't say it because I had too much pride. I knew that the moment I said something, pain and hurt would register in my voice. I knew that the moment I looked into her eyes, tears would stream down my face._

"_If you're not going to say anything, that's fine by me." She opened the car door and left. _

_Seconds after she left, I drove. I drove far. I didn't know where the hell I was going. But I just drove until my eyes blurred from tears. I drove until my arms and legs weakened. I drove until my heart exploded._

_I was in an unknown road. It was dark and the cold air was quite visible. I sat on the ground and leaned on the car door. I rested my arms on my knees and I bowed my head._

_Damn. _

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

Your criticisms and compliments are much appreciated!

'Til the next chapter!

**~dancedaze**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** Gakuen Alice and its characters are Tachibana Higuchi's, but plotline is mine.

**Author's Notes:**

This chapter was particularly difficult for me to write. I think it's because I'm not much of a tragic, romance, cheesy kind of person. But I hope I pulled it off! I hope you enjoy this chapter the same you guys enjoyed the previous ones.

And thank you again to those who followed and chose this as one of their favorites! It makes me happy and excited to write another chapter whenever you guys do that. So thank you, thank you!

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Trails of water slipped down the glass window of my room. The rainfall continued to shower as the skies turned grayer by the minute. There wasn't any sign of neither sunlight nor blue skies for that day. It was as if the weather physically manifested my emotions that I so desperately tried to hide. Flashes of lightning appeared and thunder would soon to follow.

It has been another three days that Mikan and I haven't talked and I was on the edge of losing my mind. What made it worse was that Mikan and I were the only ones in the house that Saturday afternoon. Aoi and Youichi were at a kids' camp since yesterday in Tomoeda. Hotaru had a meeting with an Arabic client—who horrified Youichi whenever he saw him—about buying one of her inventions. Mother was in Thailand, checking her clothing line branches' launching. It was as if the universe was trying to find a solution for Mikan and I to talk once again. I sighed heavily and the rain poured more.

Flashes of lightning streaked downwards and booms of thunder resounded. I lazily sat up and pulled myself away from my daybed. I stared at my reflection in front of a full-length mirror and realized that I was only wearing low-rise skinny jeans. I slipped on a red, cotton sweater (because I wasn't going to risk Mikan possibly seeing me half-naked and my checkered underwear) and trudged out my room.

The walk to Mikan's room felt endless. It was most probably because I was nervous and I, honest to goodness, didn't know what to say to her. Before I knew it, I was already standing outside her door. I could hear her footsteps as she continuously walked around her room and her trying-her-best-to-control screams whenever thunder boomed.

I took a deep breath and knocked on her door. "Mikan, are you alright?"

There was no response. Although, I heard that soft gasp that escaped her lips the moment she heard my voice. I stood there, frozen and weak yet again.

"Scared of the thunder and the lightning?" I chuckled nervously – an attempt to make the situation not as awkward as it already was.

Of course, there was no response.

I rested my hand and leaned my forehead on her wooden door. I sighed heavily. I stared at the golden doorknob that I was hoping to turn any second now, but it didn't.

"Please say something. Anything." I crumpled my hand to a fist as my frustration grew yet again. But I couldn't release that on her. I didn't want to scare her nor did I want to be the reason she would wind up in the hospital again.

_It's now or never, Natsume Hyuuga_. I brushed my hair with my hand that was once a fist and breathed deeply.

"Mikan, I'm sorry. You were hurting and I should've said something to you that day. I was just shocked and I didn't know how to process everything." I looked down as I noticed her shadow. She slowly approached the other side of the door and waited for me to go on. "The thought of losing you made me scared and I didn't want to show that to you." My voice continued to shake as I spoke, "I wanted to talk to you these past few days but you avoided me and I had no idea why. Honestly, there were times that I felt like giving up and just let things the way they are but I knew that I would be lying to myself if I pretended that that was alright with me. I was tortured and I was on the edge of losing my mind; I just had to talk to you. I just had to do something even though there wasn't really anything I could do for you. But I realized something. I realized what I can do for you."

I paused as I felt my heartbeat ran faster and faster. I paused as I noticed her shadow grew closer and closer.

I inhaled to gain my composure and spoke the words that I should've said many days ago. "No matter how much time we have left, no matter how many trips to the hospital you go to, I'm not going to go anywhere. Mikan, I'm not going to leave you. I'm staying no matter what. I love you."

I watched the shadow from beneath the wooden door and anticipated for any movement whatsoever. I waited for the doorknob to turn and that she will come out of her room and embrace me. But nothing happened. I breathed heavily, on the verge of tears, and walked away. A part of me, in that moment, felt that she couldn't take the relationship anymore. But a part of me felt that she was trying to save me from more pain that I could possibly feel when the dreaded day comes.

As I made my way back to my bedroom, I heard fast and loud footsteps coming closer to me. I turned around to find Mikan, with tears streaming down her face, diving into my arms. We fell to the floor, landing on our asses, and she cried on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her as tears streamed down my face.

I kissed her forehead and pulled away. "Are you alright?" I wiped the tears that continued to fall from her eyes.

"I was so scared! The thunder kept on booming and the lighting kept on flashing!" She pulled me and hugged me tighter. "I-I-I'm sorry, Natsume."

I smiled and nuzzled on her neck. She giggled at how she was tickled by that gesture of mine. I loved how she smelled like tangerines and strawberries all the time. It was in her hair and on her skin – quite addicting really. She pushed herself away to give her more space to breathe.

I stared at her and I couldn't help but feel amused that she wore one of my clothes. "You're wearing my jacket." I smirked at how she blushed and pulled my black and white Adidas jacket closer to her body.

"I was scared, okay? It's not like I could barge in your room earlier and cuddle in fear." The redness of her face grew brighter and I couldn't help but think how cute she looked.

"So you resorted to wearing my jacket?" My smirk shifted to a grin as I couldn't control myself any longer.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?" She pouted, pretending to feel bad about it.

"No." I smiled.

But before she could respond, I slowly pulled her by the waist and gently kissed her. I felt how much she missed me when she wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss (even her lips somehow tasted like tangerines and strawberries). We stayed there for a while, knowing that no one would suddenly appear and interrupt our moment.

In sync, we broke the kiss and I saw that her eyes brimmed with tears. "Natsume, I'm afraid." Her fragile body shook and her lips quivered.

I brushed her long, honey-auburn locks with my fingers as I tried my best to assure her. "Afraid of?"

Her arms untangled from my neck and her eyes gazed at the floor. She played with her fingers as she tried to find the proper words. "I'm afraid of three things: death, how and when to say goodbye to the people I care about, and hurting you."

I lifted her head by the chin and locked on her chocolate-brown eyes with my crimson eyes. "Death is something that is inevitable. Time and circumstances are what differ for every living thing. Saying goodbye is something that is very hard. You can never do it in such a way that won't hurt the people that love you. Hotaru, Aoi, Youichi, my mom, and your other friends and family won't take it easily, but they have to handle it. It's not them; it's not us that are suffering. You're the one that's suffering the most."

I brushed her hair more as I saw her eyes tearing up once again. "And lastly, your disappearance won't hurt me because you will never disappear in my life. As long as I let you live in my heart, then the pain wouldn't hurt as much."

"But I—"

"I chose you, Mikan. It's not like you threw yourself at me and begged me to love you. I chose to love you. It's that simple. There's no need for us to complicate the situation at hand. We will focus on the present, on the time given to us. Let's not look at the future that we both fear because that would make our present scarier than it should be." I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"Okay. Thank you, Natsume. And I love you too." I felt her small hands grip the back of my shirt. She buried her face on my chest and sniffed from time to time.

In that hallway, we stayed that way until the rain slowly came to a stop. The skies were still gray but somehow hints of blue emerged. Water continued to trickle down the glass windows and the clouds would soon fade. As the weather brightened, I listened as our hearts beat in sync motion.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

Leave me a comment or a compliment! Both are very much accepted. But don't bash it, if you find it horrible. *tears* Just break it to me gently. Haha!

You know it already. ;)

**~dancedaze**


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes:**

Hi, guys! I know I have been gone for quite some time, but I have graduated already! Yey for that! So I just wanted to thank again for those who have supported me and this story. Do know that this is finishing with one or two chapters to go. So I hope you all continue to support me on this and I promise to write more stories in the future.

Leave me a comment, okay? Don't be too hard on me now.

Spread the love!

**~dancedaze**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Theme parks, coffee shops, and shopping – we tried our best to be in a "normal" relationship. Holding hands, kisses on the cheek and on the lips, and warm embraces – we stayed in the moment and discarded the idea of the little time we possibly have left. Her trips to the hospital frequented and her episodes radically increased, even Aoi and Youchi were starting to get worried. Mom and Hotaru did their best to assure them, but their sighs and sad eyes revealed that they were aware of the truth. Her frail hands held mine as an attempt to guarantee a brighter future for the both of us, and I would always reply with a smile – which underneath are sadness and heartache.

In our third semester of our last year of high school, Mikan's attendance decreased dramatically. Her hospital trips and episodes did not dramatically increase, but the doctor had advised her bed rest to somehow expand and stretch the minutes that were predicted left of her. My mother and I had fought about deciding on her dropping out of school. I had that little hope that she would return to her seat in front of me and turn around to smile and tell me how much she loves me. Every ring of the dismissal bell sent me flying to the parking lot and towards home where she laid or the hospital when I get the emergency call from Aoi or one of our maids.

Our situation looked so bleak and so hopeless, right? You'd think that things would get worse and worse from this point in time. Maybe. But it depends on what angle you would look at. You can believe that Mikan's imminent death neared or that I had maximized her smiles, hugs, and kisses until to whatever was possibly left for me. Although, this story nears to an end there was something that I had done that I never thought I would do.

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><p>I softly swept the bangs that slightly covered her eyes and kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"<p>

"Mmm. I'm okay." She stayed on her bed for most of the day and forced a smile on her face. "What did you guys do in school today?"

I increased the temperature of her bedroom and grabbed a chair to sit beside her bed. "Nothing new, really. Narumi was a little uptight today. I think it's because Reo's coming to visit school grounds."

She covered her eyes with her forearm and giggled. "Reo really riles Uncle Narumi up, huh?"

"Some say they were lovers when they studied in Alice Academy."

"That's not true. Uncle Narumi and Reo were both in love with my mother."

"There was _that_."

"My father was just better at wooing mother." She lifted her forearm and winked at me.

I grinned. I knew what she was trying to do. "Oh yeah? And how exactly did your father woo Aunt Yuka?"

She sat up slowly and leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek. "That is a secret." She fiddled something from underneath her bed covers and fished out a book. "Don't tell Hotaru, okay?"

Mitch Albom's _The Time Keeper_.

"Are you sure you're supposed to be working?" I took the book from her hands and flipped through the pages. I noticed the colored post-its and the comments written in pencil on the sides of the pages. "How long have you been working on this? You're supposed to be resting, Mi."

"Don't worry, Nat. I'm not pushing it. I work on it when I'm not tired and my boss knows my condition. So he doesn't push me so hard in finishing one book." She reached for the book and hid it in her bedside drawer.

I shoved my hands in my jacket pocket as the temperature continued to drop. I felt the box inside and remembered what I really was supposed to do that night.

"Are you feeling sick or weak? Can you stand?"

"Well, I've been going to the bathroom. So of course I can stand. Why? What's up?"

"Come with me?"

She smiled and grabbed her sweater and stood up from her bed. I took her hand in mine and walked out of her room. We slowly treaded the halls and the winding stairs. Her eyes fluttered slowly as she was trying to unfold what was happening while getting distracted with the little lights that have been decorated for the coming holidays. She gripped my hand a little tighter whenever she thought she'd fall or faint and then smiled when she realized that it was a false alarm. I led her to the porch that was ready for an old-fashioned date. It was decorated with lights and lit candles and there was table in the centre with food and drinks.

"What's this?" She smiled as she leaned on my arm.

"I can't really take you out of the house because Hotaru would kill me and so would my mother. So I had this all set-up so we can still do things together even if we're just inside the house. What do you think? Or would you rather rest?"

She looked up with one of the most genuine smiles I'd seen in a while and pulled me. "Let's!"

That night was wonderful. She talked about her dreams of having a family and children—and teased me of being part of it. She lifted the what if's and could have been's if she wasn't sick. She wondered on a life—a healthy life—that was mirrored by what her heart desired. She asked me of my non-existent past relationships and about my mother's marriage. She commented on my metrosexual fashion sense and how I wasn't as manly people thought I was. Mikan was rather talkative and happy that night, and I couldn't be any more in love with her than I already was.

"Hotaru even said how she was against me liking that jerk from grade school! Can you believe that? And she wasn't against you at all!"

"Are you implying that I'm a jerk?" I smirked.

"No…" Her o's trailed as her eyes wondered. "Maybe? Before? Sort of?" She giggled. "But I love you, anyway."

My heart pounded as I felt the small velvet box in the jacket pocket. I slowly took it out and pondered on the decision I'm making and the future decisions that go with it. I stood up abruptly, which rattled Mikan as she was sharing a story that totally drifted away from my mind.

"Are you okay, Natsume?" She was about to stand up when I rushed behind her and calmly sat her down again.

"It's okay. I'm okay." I breathed deeply and paced from one side to another. I was mentally breaking down and I was using every ounce of energy I have to keep it subdued. There were a lot of risks and emotions that I am placing on the line and I wasn't so sure if I was ready for it. I wasn't sure if Mikan was ready for it. As my pace intensely grew faster and more radical, she grabbed me by the wrist and smiled – that smile with questions in her caramel eyes. I breathed the deepest breath and knelt.

_It's now or never_.

"Natsume? What's wrong?" She held my face with her hands and I looked into her eyes.

There was so much I wanted to say. There were many words that scrambled in my head as I tried to find the perfect words for that moment that night. But as I looked into her eyes and as she looked into mine, I felt as if I was able to relay to her everything I had wanted her to hear: her beauty despite her frail greyish skin, her intellect despite her clumsiness, her radiance despite her physical weakness, and her love despite her dying heart. I could've gone for hours, but I resorted to one sentence, to one question.

"Mikan," I took her hands in mine and I put the small, red, velvet box in her hands and asked, "will you marry me?"

She opened the box and the ring glistened in her eyes. She smiled and kissed me, as if she was already saying "I do".

Snow started to fall. Snowflakes of different shapes and sizes descended from the heavens. It was oddly cold and strange and we both looked up at the same dark sky. I felt her shift her weight nearer me and her eyes focused only on me. I slowly returned her gaze and waited for an answer.

"Yes."

And that was all I needed to hear.


	14. Epilogue

Hi, guys!

This is the last chapter of Heartbeat! Thank you to those who have followed me and the story! It's not as well-written as I'd hope it would be but I'm glad that some of you have enjoyed it. This is the ending I chose due to personal reasons and reflections that I have learned in the past. Do leave me a comment! I hope that you all still would like this though the ending was like this.

I have a treat for all of those who wish to participate in my **One-shot Challenge**. Details are posted in my profile so do be kind enough to check it out!

Spread the love! And enjoy your Holy Week. :)

**~dancedaze**

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><p><em><strong>Epilogue<strong>_

_Toga hats, diplomas, and flowers were thrown into the air. Everyone I knew—and more that knew me than I did them—ran towards their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, and other relatives that attended our celebration of high school's end. Though there remained an empty seat, all that mattered knew that Mikan had graduated with us. In our heads, she finished her high school years the same we did. Although this was only a means of convincing ourselves of a happier outcome, we also believed in a miracle. _

_It was the spring of that year when we took our vows, held each other's hands, and kissed before a congregation. It's rather embarrassing, now that I'm talking about it, but it was only her eyes that mattered in that very moment. While her body grew weak and her skin paler by the second, the brightness and the beautiful swirls of caramel in her eyes never ceased. I remember when her father walked her down the aisle; she had refused to sit on that wheel chair. She lifted her weight and slowly walked towards me. She endured the pain and used every ounce of strength to reach the altar. Her long white gown treaded behind her and her veil swayed gently with every step. She was so gorgeous and ethereal; I thought I was going to cry. Well, maybe I did._

_And on our wedding night—_

_Let's not go there._

_Though the clock stops once more and moves time faster. The second hand, minute hand, and hour hand speeds up to the present—twelve and a half years later—and I still have my Magnolias in hand. I walk past the school and into a very familiar place – a place that I had seen more times than my fingers and toes could count. The smell of medicine, rushing doctors, and the same faces of visitors plague this hospital. I stand in front of a white door and inhaled once more (as if I wasn't used to this at all). I enter and placed the Magnolias in the new vase Hotaru bought and dragged a chair to the hospital bedside. I take her hand and wait. I wait for a response. I wait for a miracle._

_It has been three years since I last saw her move. It has been three years since I last saw her smile. Her eyes remain wide open, but I questioned her awareness and stability. A machine acted as her heart and we all refused to have it removed. We, her family, believed in her revival._

_I fiddle with the wedding ring on her left finger and I would never regret putting it there. _

_I will always believe that she would someday gain the energy to move once more, to have the life she had. I know that she will be able to smile once again and tell me how much she loves me._

_I believe that I will hear her heartbeat once more._


End file.
